Sunday, March 1, 2015

Becoming Healthy

Sunday, March 1, 2015

A new month has begun.  And I plan to make this month be the very first month I do some things I have never done before.  Last month I took an important and healthy step regarding my financial health.  I created a spreadsheet to start closely monitoring my income and expenses.  I began toying with the idea of keeping track of how I spend money each and every day in a way that would work for me.

I originally had a story running in my mind that the process of becoming so much more conscious regarding my finances would be a very painful experience.  It wasn't.  This fundamental difference between what I thought would happen and what actually did happen reminded me yet again that we shouldn't be so quick to buy into the thoughts that go through our minds.  I have known there is wisdom in maintaining a measure of detachment from the stream of thoughts we have each and every day.  This recent experience regarding my finances is a good reminder of this truth.

My sadness and grief is still with me.  This has been true for years.  But I do feel the heaviness of my sadness continuing to lighten up bit by incremental bit.  I know the turning of the seasons will help boost my sense of moving further forward in my healing journey.  Sometimes it's just the inevitable passage of time that must take place for healing to naturally unfold.

Tomorrow will mark the beginning of my third week of attending my morning outpatient program.  I have been feeling a bit confused lately as to what I ultimately can reasonably expect to gain from participating in the program.  But instead of making my state of confusion into something horrible that I must eliminate I am allowing myself to be willing to live with the uncertainty.

My future is not certain.  I can interpret this as good, bad or both.  I have the ability to choose how I will experience uncertainty.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!