Saturday, February 28, 2015

Running Against The Grain

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Sometimes I feel as if I am in the midst of a protracted adolescent rebellion.  This does not surprise me considering how I felt my original (chronological) adolescence was effectively truncated by the manner in which my father and stepmother 'raised' me.  I feel as if I am still making up for lost time.

One way I occasionally feel that my 'rebelliousness' manifests is as a strong form apathy.  I feel that I have done plenty to show up in the world in a healthy way.  I was a very well behaved child and teenager who tolerated a lot of dysfunction around me.  Despite my far from optimal circumstances I became a good man.  I gave years of my life in volunteer service when I was a younger man in my twenties.  I feel I have very little to show for all my hard work, kindness and compassion.

I feel my heart is still in the process of filling up again.  My heart had been running virtually on empty for quite a while.  As I continue to practice and improve my own self-care skills I feel myself growing stronger and healthier with each passing day.

Meteorological winter ends today.  I am grateful that the seasons are in the process of turning.  It is time for a new cycle of growth.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!