Saturday, February 28, 2015
Sometimes I feel as if I am in the midst of a protracted adolescent rebellion. This does not surprise me considering how I felt my original (chronological) adolescence was effectively truncated by the manner in which my father and stepmother 'raised' me. I feel as if I am still making up for lost time.
One way I occasionally feel that my 'rebelliousness' manifests is as a strong form apathy. I feel that I have done plenty to show up in the world in a healthy way. I was a very well behaved child and teenager who tolerated a lot of dysfunction around me. Despite my far from optimal circumstances I became a good man. I gave years of my life in volunteer service when I was a younger man in my twenties. I feel I have very little to show for all my hard work, kindness and compassion.
I feel my heart is still in the process of filling up again. My heart had been running virtually on empty for quite a while. As I continue to practice and improve my own self-care skills I feel myself growing stronger and healthier with each passing day.
Meteorological winter ends today. I am grateful that the seasons are in the process of turning. It is time for a new cycle of growth.
Sometimes I feel as if I am in the midst of a protracted adolescent rebellion. This does not surprise me considering how I felt my original (chronological) adolescence was effectively truncated by the manner in which my father and stepmother 'raised' me. I feel as if I am still making up for lost time.
One way I occasionally feel that my 'rebelliousness' manifests is as a strong form apathy. I feel that I have done plenty to show up in the world in a healthy way. I was a very well behaved child and teenager who tolerated a lot of dysfunction around me. Despite my far from optimal circumstances I became a good man. I gave years of my life in volunteer service when I was a younger man in my twenties. I feel I have very little to show for all my hard work, kindness and compassion.
I feel my heart is still in the process of filling up again. My heart had been running virtually on empty for quite a while. As I continue to practice and improve my own self-care skills I feel myself growing stronger and healthier with each passing day.
Meteorological winter ends today. I am grateful that the seasons are in the process of turning. It is time for a new cycle of growth.
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!