Allowing Pain To Be

Thursday, February 26, 2015

I have completed two weeks of an intensive program I am currently attending in the mornings from Monday through Thursday.  I am feeling better now.  I just wish I felt more hopeful about my future career evolution.  But just because I do not feel hopeful about it improving does not mean that it won’t.

I suppose the biggest step forward I have recently made has been my willingness to allow for more space in my life for the pain, frustration, sadness and confusion I still often feel.  Allowing my pain to be without trying to immediately get rid of it is an important step forward.  Sometimes we may feel incredibly horrible.  This is something called a normal human experience.  I can make space in my heart for my sadness and other difficult feelings as well as beauty, love, joy, fun and a much brighter future.  I can make space for both the light and the darkness of my life.

I had a telephone ‘meeting’ with my therapist last night.  We focused on reviewing our notes regarding my past trauma history.  I was pleased to confirm that we have completed a vast majority of the trauma resolution work of my healing process.  There is still other work I can do but the nature of what I need to focus on has significantly changed.  I need to focus on moving forward by clearly defining my values and then following (and continuing to follow) my values.

I find late February to be a wearisome time here in Minnesota.  The days continue to be very cold.  But the strength of the sun is steadily growing now.  Spring is not too many days away now.