Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Subtext of Gender Within Our Recent (Manufactured & Totally Unnecessary!) National Crisis

Thursday, October 17, 2013


Despite the many challenges I have faced in my life I have also enjoyed many blessings.  One major blessing I can count are the many mentors I have found throughout the course of my life.  I have discovered many of these mentors within my academic education.  And many of them have been women.

One of my most influential mentors is Dr. Pamela Colorado.  Dr. Colorado has made it her life's work to preserve and celebrate the cultures, traditions and wisdom of indigenous peoples.  Her personal commitment to this vision inspired her founding of the Worldwide Indigenous Science Network.  I had the great pleasure of attending residential learning intensives in Lahaina on the Hawaiian island of Maui while a student of the Oakland, California campus of Naropa University between 2003 and 2005.  And it so happened that I was the only male student in the small cohort of students who began the program when I did.  Any man who carries unresolved issues with the role of the feminine in his life might find such a prospect a bit anxiety provoking.  I know I did!

I sometimes wonder why the women of the world put up with us men.  Seriously, do you think it's a coincidence that women tend to live longer than men?  As far as I can tell this is a statistical fact that cuts across many cultures.  Having been in the presence of many women throughout my life I can offer some observations as to what significant distinctions can be found between men and women.  And here is one primary distinction: women do not see the act of compromise as an indication of weakness.  It's my (informed) opinion that women are much more likely to see compromise as a means by which the best of all people and ideas can synergistically mix together such that everyone emerges a 'winner'.  Women are much less likely to interpret compromise as a zero-sum game in which your success automatically implies that another person loses.  If only men could see the world in this way more rather than the black and white thinking that characterizes so much of their thinking and actions.

I myself certainly do not sit on some sort of high horse; I have not 'figured out' the world and now possess some magical answer to offer that will suddenly forever solve my challenges, the challenges of my friends and family and the very pressing challenges that face our world.  It took me a long time to see the ways I all too easily engage in black and white thinking.  And I would further posit that black and white thinking isn't just another way to describe the zero-sum game.  Black and white thinking also is another way to describe all or nothing thinking.  Thinking that another person's win is your loss is one distorted way of thinking.  But thinking that achieving 50% of a personal goal is essentially 0% is also not constructive.  It's more constructive to focus on what you can achieve rather than what you cannot.

All or nothing thinking is plaguing the United States today.  It is reflected in the ideological polarities that recently precipitated the partial shutdown of our federal government.  Taken to its extreme black and white/all or nothing thinking will be our undoing.  And isn't it interesting that the resolution to our most recent manufactured crisis was made possible in part by the collaboration of a group of women?  I I see this as no coincidence.  If you have any doubt about the reality of this just google 'senate women government shutdown'.  You will find plenty of articles.  One good one I just read can be found here.

Considering the marginalization of women that persists throughout human history it truly is wondrous that women engage in their communities to the degree that they do.  Women, in the role of mothers, give birth to all of humanity!  That's certainly not a small task.  They serve as midwives, nurses, doctors, teachers, professors, Senators, scientists and so on.  They clean up our beaches, assist in preparing meals for complete strangers and visit those dying in hospitals and hospices.

The men who serve in Congress (and yes, I believe 'serve' is the term they should keep in mind!) would be wise to take note of the commitment to compromise that proved to be an important element in the (temporary) resolution of the government shutdown.  It's my opinion, and the opinion of many Americans, that this crisis truly was manufactured and completely avoidable.  We need to rediscover a collective willingness to compromise and see the good possible in such an orientation.

I am grateful to all the women in my life who have nurtured and supported me in my own personal development.  Without their love and support I might not be the man I am today.  I ask the women of the world to be patient with us men.  Thank you for all your love and support!



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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!