Friday, October 25, 2013
I am in the thick of it now. I can feel it.
Today I completed an intake to do a two week long partial hospitalization program at Abbott Northwestern Hospital. The program offers group therapy during the day; clients are allowed to return home at night. I enjoyed speaking with the nurse who performed the initial assessment. I feel good about committing to this program. It is a short duration program and I am convinced I will feel much better when Friday, November 8th arrives.
I also began attending a six week long men's group this past Wednesday evening. The group is being facilitated by my therapist. I am finally beginning to address some of my core issues in a much deeper way. I have not enjoyed the presence of sufficient healthy male energy throughout large stretches of my life; I am now taking another active step to address this issue. I feel optimistic that I am moving in the right direction. The path before me is still quite long but I know I am well on my way for the beginning of this saga back in June now feels like a distant memory. I received my diagnosis exactly four months ago today.
I am wading into the darkest depths of my psyche now. Though I do feel some trepidation and anxiety I do not feel any paralyzing fear. I recognize more clearly now what is happening: I am cleaning out the psychic garbage within me. Much like one cleans off the desktop of a personal computer and dumps unwanted items in the trash so am I cleaning out my own 'hard drive'.
I am a big fan and student of astrology. This current time in my life and the themes I am working with were foreshadowed years ago. Pluto is currently making a square aspect to my natal Moon in the sign of Aries. This is a powerful time of transformation...this is what such a transit supports. Here is but one description of this transit.
Pluto square or opposite your natal Moon: This transit indicates a time of emotional turmoil and changes in your most personal relationships. Hidden feelings and past traumas may arise now, begging for your attention. Family crises may occur during this transit. The feelings and emotions brought out now are likely to be ones you never knew you possessed! Jealousy, manipulation, and obsession are likely to characterize your emotional life at the moment. Emotional insecurity and feelings of anger are likely to emerge. The desire to control or manipulate others is present, as is the tendency to engage in power struggles. You, or your partner, may begin to play games in order to deal with these feelings. Personal problems may be remedied, or heightened during this cycle. Holding in your feelings and emotions is not favored at this time, as the pent-up frustration needs to be released in order to make way for emotional regeneration. Your emotional responses may be blown out of proportion during this cycle, and you are vastly more sensitive to even the most minor issue. In the case of the opposition, jealousy, obsession, possessiveness, and control issues may come from others.
I cannot think of better words to describe what I am experiencing right now. And due to the slow motion of Pluto through the backdrop of the zodiac I will be experiencing this transit through 2015. Oh joy!
I am in the thick of it now. I can feel it.
Today I completed an intake to do a two week long partial hospitalization program at Abbott Northwestern Hospital. The program offers group therapy during the day; clients are allowed to return home at night. I enjoyed speaking with the nurse who performed the initial assessment. I feel good about committing to this program. It is a short duration program and I am convinced I will feel much better when Friday, November 8th arrives.
I also began attending a six week long men's group this past Wednesday evening. The group is being facilitated by my therapist. I am finally beginning to address some of my core issues in a much deeper way. I have not enjoyed the presence of sufficient healthy male energy throughout large stretches of my life; I am now taking another active step to address this issue. I feel optimistic that I am moving in the right direction. The path before me is still quite long but I know I am well on my way for the beginning of this saga back in June now feels like a distant memory. I received my diagnosis exactly four months ago today.
I am wading into the darkest depths of my psyche now. Though I do feel some trepidation and anxiety I do not feel any paralyzing fear. I recognize more clearly now what is happening: I am cleaning out the psychic garbage within me. Much like one cleans off the desktop of a personal computer and dumps unwanted items in the trash so am I cleaning out my own 'hard drive'.
I am a big fan and student of astrology. This current time in my life and the themes I am working with were foreshadowed years ago. Pluto is currently making a square aspect to my natal Moon in the sign of Aries. This is a powerful time of transformation...this is what such a transit supports. Here is but one description of this transit.
Pluto square or opposite your natal Moon: This transit indicates a time of emotional turmoil and changes in your most personal relationships. Hidden feelings and past traumas may arise now, begging for your attention. Family crises may occur during this transit. The feelings and emotions brought out now are likely to be ones you never knew you possessed! Jealousy, manipulation, and obsession are likely to characterize your emotional life at the moment. Emotional insecurity and feelings of anger are likely to emerge. The desire to control or manipulate others is present, as is the tendency to engage in power struggles. You, or your partner, may begin to play games in order to deal with these feelings. Personal problems may be remedied, or heightened during this cycle. Holding in your feelings and emotions is not favored at this time, as the pent-up frustration needs to be released in order to make way for emotional regeneration. Your emotional responses may be blown out of proportion during this cycle, and you are vastly more sensitive to even the most minor issue. In the case of the opposition, jealousy, obsession, possessiveness, and control issues may come from others.
I cannot think of better words to describe what I am experiencing right now. And due to the slow motion of Pluto through the backdrop of the zodiac I will be experiencing this transit through 2015. Oh joy!
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!