Saturday, October 5, 2013

Mommy, What Is Porn?

Saturday, October 5, 2013


I went to the local YMCA today for an International Breakfast fundraiser.  It was a nice event.  I made a few new connections that give me some hope in successfully moving in a new career direction.  Before walking into the building I scanned the front page of the Star Tribune newspaper sitting in the dispenser outside the entrance.  The most prominent headline was the following: "Archdiocese: No Child Porn Found"  It certainly is an attention grabbing title.  The full article can be found here.

Considering how easily I noticed the article and how the dispenser is essentially at the eye level that corresponds to small children I could not help but wonder how many children who attended the breakfast event with their parents also happened to notice the article.  And for those children old enough to have a sufficient reading level I would not doubt if at least one child among that cohort who came to the event today innocently poses the question 'Mommy what is porn?' on the way home.  Talk about a question that would prompt a parent to pull off to the side of the road!  Life is full of many difficult questions.  And this is one of them.

What exactly is pornography?  This question is not unlike the question 'What is child abuse?'  Sometimes you cannot exactly specify what something is until something that captures the essence
of it grabs your attention.  We all carry ideas of what constitutes something like pornography, abuse and trauma within our minds.  And there are many different ideas out there.  And this reality can make creating a concerted, effective response to such issues even more difficult than it already is.

I reference the issue of pornography and the specific story from the Star Tribune for a few reasons.  To begin with, the creation of child pornography could, in my estimation, be a sufficiently traumatic experience for an involved child that I can imagine said child quite possibly developing PTSD.  Secondly, it has been my observation that organized religion all too often causes both joy and distress to many people.  It is especially distressing when clergy are accused of something like abuse given the high standard of ethics people generally hope to expect clergy to consistently meet.  Furthermore (and here you may scratch your head as to where I came up with this idea), there is something peculiar about  the virtually Darwinian form of capitalism that I feel is all too omnipresent in this nation.  I find it easy to describe our economic system as pornographic in nature.  Here I am quite obviously speaking in metaphor.  I will flesh out this idea later.

These three themes may seem very unrelated to one another and yet somehow I discern some at least tenuous connective thread within them.  I will explore and write about them more in the coming days.  Today I will concentrate only on the first one.  Though I began this posting zeroing in on the theme of pornography I wish to speak more generally and offer my own impressions about childhood and PTSD.  Here they are:

1) Children, by their lack of life experience and subsequent lesser ability to put particular events into an appropriate broader context, are impressionable and, it would seem, therefore more likely to develop dysfunctional ways of thinking of themselves and the world at large.  One excellent book I read years ago which highlights the ways children may respond to a traumatic incident is called Too Scared To Cry.  It was written by child psychiatrist Lenore Terr.  Based on my reading of this book, my own personal life experience and the stories of other people's lives I have shared in I have come to believe that when trauma is sufficiently severe we can become 'stuck' in a certain developmental phase.  One hallmark symptom noted by Dr. Terr when children are traumatized is there proclivity to reenact the trauma in their playtime.

2) It is very important that research into PTSD continue such that adults can get good treatment when traumatic experiences throw them for a loop.  And yet I think it is especially critical to emphasize research into children experiencing PTSD.  As cliched as it might sound children are indeed the future of this world.  As we continue to deepen our knowledge of PTSD we will be able to create a better world for the adults of tomorrow.  I certainly feel my own life would have been less difficult if PTSD had been better understood in the 1980s.  And yet it is not surprising that the child welfare system and closely related institutions performed no better than they did in my particular case from 1980s Texas.  Indeed, when I examine what is happening currently in the federal government (the ongoing shutdown) and what role Texas Republican thinking (or lack of thinking really) is playing in it I am quite convinced Texas remains nearly as backwards as it was three decades ago.  It constantly amazes me when people divorce social welfare from economics.  If you want to have a truly robust, resilient economy you must give adequate attention to ensure your workforce's basic material needs are sufficiently met.  Discrimination, violence, malnutrition and so forth do not a strong citizenry make.

3) Stability is such an important factor.  I believe it more critical to a person's future potential to enjoy stable, nurturing relationships as a child as opposed to enjoying material prosperity in which serious lack of food, shelter and clothing never occurs.  Obviously we all need these basic material things.  But ask yourself which of the following scenarios sounds better: An early life defined by a vigorous community of loving individuals in which your material needs are barely met and you are considered financially poor OR an early life in which your basic material needs are met in a nearly luxurious way  but your primary hardship is loneliness and chaos due to unstable and temporary relationships.  I would prefer to experience the first option.

4) Closely related to the need for stability is a need for safety or perceived security.  In this respect I believe this nation could do so much better.  When gun legislation failed in our Congress in the aftermath of the Newtown, Connecticut school shootings I interpreted this outcome to grossly indicate that (and I know this is a generalization) in this nation the right of an adult to carry a weapon with minimal safety training and oversight is a more valued right than is the right of children to safely seek an education in their classroom.  Like I noted this is a generalization and some would perhaps challenge me on this interpretation.  And yet I can imagine many children coming to this same conclusion within their impressionable minds.

5) Dr. Terr was very correct when she observed that untreated trauma does not simply vanish.  Instead it tends to sink deeper into a child's psyche.  I believe this observation is very astute.  We would all do well to recognize this.  Successful treatment of trauma is also very contingent on the techniques used as well as the character of the therapist who engages with the patient.

6) Grief is often a major indicator of trauma.  While attending the Minnesota Men's Conference last month I remember hearing the following from Francis Weller, a therapist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area: "Not every grief has an associated trauma but every trauma has grief in it."  Grief is one of the deepest and richest of human experiences.  When we resist unexpressed grief we become prisoners to it.








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