Saturday, March 21, 2015
It is a measure of the progress I have made in my healing journey that I remained calm this morning.
I awoke a bit earlier this morning than I was planning to. So I made my way to the YMCA. And I finally attended the Saturday morning yoga class offered by one of my favorite instructors. This particular instructor likes to use music as a tool to enhance the yoga class. She will occasionally play music that somehow relates to a person or event that has special significance associated with the day in question. Today she acknowledged a number of events that took place on March 21st.
Today, among other events, she acknowledged this plot from the television soap opera Dallas. This show ran for a number of years while I was a kid living in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. It was not one of my favorite shows. I never watched it regularly. I felt an intense dislike of the show because I felt it embodied all the worst stereotypes of how Texans can behave. The multiple forms of dysfunctional behavior (alcoholism, scheming and violence) exhibited by the characters were very depressing to watch.
When our instructor played the theme song from this show my mind was suddenly full of thoughts about the violence and dysfunction I experienced as a kid. And yet I found myself remaining calm despite the reminder of this unpleasant aspect of my early life. I didn't allow myself to get carried away by these old thoughts and memories. I remained in the present moment and simply continued to breathe.
This was my not inconsequential victory of the day. And it's only just now a few minutes past noon!