Tuesday, March 31, 2015

My Ninety-Sixth Session

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

It sometimes seems a bit strange to me that I haven't even seen my therapist for a hundred sessions.  I am nearly there though.  I had my ninety-sixth session today.  Some people go to therapy for many years and still don't make the progress I have managed to make in a 'mere' twenty-one months.  It might sound as if I am bragging.  And perhaps I am bragging.  But I have every reason to feel pleased with my progress.  I have earned the changes I have made.

I actually talked about getting completely off my SSRI a bit earlier than I was first planning.  My recently established goal was to taper completely off the medication by my birthday in September.  I feel it might be achievable and valuable for me to transition off the medication even sooner.  And I have a good reason for arguing this course of action.

I recently began to wonder if my dream-life is somehow dampened by the medication I am taking for PTSD treatment.  Last year, in September, I attempted to titrate down on my medication.  Then my life circumstances worsened.  It was really disappointing.  But in the weeks immediately following my attempt to titrate down I noticed my dream life became more vivid.  This has once again happened in the last ten days or so.  So it seems there is likely a correlation between dosage level and my dream-life.

I studied dreams a number of years ago while attending Naropa University.  I came to believe in the value of honoring our dreams by keeping a dream journal or sharing them with others in a safe space.
I think transitioning off my SSRI might help me to better recall my dreams.  In doing so I might be able to gain insight relevant to my healing process faster than I would otherwise.


I feel so much better now.  My sadness still is with me.  But the burden of my sadness is more bearable.  And I am opening myself up to new and exciting possibilities.

We might have our first thunderstorms of the warm season tomorrow.  The seasons are definitely changing.

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