Saturday, January 25, 2014
Life did not go according to plan this weekend. I arrived on time at my bus stop this morning to go downtown and catch the Megabus to Chicago. But the bus did not arrive on time. And it's quite obvious the driver was not well prepared; she had never even driven the route before! So instead of visiting Chicago I am staying here in Minneapolis this weekend.
I had a nice conversation with a friend of a friend one evening recently. I guided the conversation into the topic of PTSD. I then learned this woman's son has PTSD. He was sent to Iraq. This morning I logged on to one of my 'dating' profiles and found a message from someone in which he referenced the contest I participated in last November and my openness about the issue of PTSD. He mentioned that his father (who was in the Navy) had (has?) PTSD. As I continue to hear more stories of people's life journeys I have found myself wondering just how accurate the statistics are regarding the frequency of PTSD in the general population of the United States. I also wonder if it might be something of a 'silent health crisis' i.e. something that is much more endemic to the population than we even understand in the year 2014.
According to the CDC heart disease is the number one cause of death in the United States. For fairly recent statistics you can find a good source here. It is interesting to see the fifteen primary causes of death ranked and to see where they fall compared to one another. Suicide leads to more deaths than chronic liver disease or Parkinson's disease. Yet influenza still results in a greater loss of life than suicide. Accidents are the 5th leading cause of death!
Of the deaths attributable to suicide I wonder how many of those were committed by those who had PTSD or would have been diagnosed with PTSD if they had sought out a competent health care provider. As with other branches of science the advance of medicine is hindered in part by the quality of available data. I also can't help but wonder what the breakdown of PTSD cases is with respect to gender. My educated guess might be that women represent a disproportionately high percentage of the total number (when compared against their representation of the general population) because I would guess that women have better and more active health care seeking behaviors and are thus more likely to get screened and have such a condition discovered. Men, especially those from cultures in which machismo reigns, seem less likely to seek out medical attention...even when it is urgent that they do so. In my opinion many men are still raised to avoid, deny or minimize their experience of pain. To admit to being in pain is somehow to be thought of us as not being manly or being 'less than'.
I feel that we all lose out when people cannot simply admit to their pain and seek treatment. Sometimes it's a matter of how they were raised in their own families. Sometimes it is also or separately an issue of culture. And then there is the influence of religion and spirituality. There are many possible explanations. What I also feel, as I continue to emerge from my own strange state of being that I called 'life' for so long, is that many people walking around are a shadow of their potential selves precisely because they simply refuse to confront their own pain. And yet the only guaranteed way to have even a chance of solving a problem is to first acknowledge its existence. And many won't even do that. I certainly feel this has been true of my paternal family of origin. Avoidance and denial can be so incredibly toxic.
I have heard nothing from my relatives whom I wrote to this past week regarding my thoughts about my father. I do not know what I can expect...if anything. What I do know is that I need to continue to focus on my own healing journey. Despite the bumps and detours I continue to feel quite good most of the time. I have moments when I feel especially down but I do not see them metastasizing into a depressive affect. I am done with depression...now and even forever I think. I am learning some excellent skills to cultivate my emotional health.
My grief is certainly still with me. And that is due partly to the poor skills men typically have regarding grief. But I am learning and moving forwards. I am determined not to let my past limit what I can realize of my potential.
I have scheduled what I hope will be my final physical therapy evaluation for Monday, February 3rd. This evaluation will focus specifically on my left foot and lower leg. My goal of completing physical therapy by March 1st still seems to be a realistic one. It will be a sweet relief when the only therapy I am seeking out is psychotherapy. I still marvel at how well I was able to ignore my own pain and grief for so long. But it didn't serve me well in the long run. I was only being dragged down by my willingness to ignore it.
Life did not go according to plan this weekend. I arrived on time at my bus stop this morning to go downtown and catch the Megabus to Chicago. But the bus did not arrive on time. And it's quite obvious the driver was not well prepared; she had never even driven the route before! So instead of visiting Chicago I am staying here in Minneapolis this weekend.
I had a nice conversation with a friend of a friend one evening recently. I guided the conversation into the topic of PTSD. I then learned this woman's son has PTSD. He was sent to Iraq. This morning I logged on to one of my 'dating' profiles and found a message from someone in which he referenced the contest I participated in last November and my openness about the issue of PTSD. He mentioned that his father (who was in the Navy) had (has?) PTSD. As I continue to hear more stories of people's life journeys I have found myself wondering just how accurate the statistics are regarding the frequency of PTSD in the general population of the United States. I also wonder if it might be something of a 'silent health crisis' i.e. something that is much more endemic to the population than we even understand in the year 2014.
According to the CDC heart disease is the number one cause of death in the United States. For fairly recent statistics you can find a good source here. It is interesting to see the fifteen primary causes of death ranked and to see where they fall compared to one another. Suicide leads to more deaths than chronic liver disease or Parkinson's disease. Yet influenza still results in a greater loss of life than suicide. Accidents are the 5th leading cause of death!
Of the deaths attributable to suicide I wonder how many of those were committed by those who had PTSD or would have been diagnosed with PTSD if they had sought out a competent health care provider. As with other branches of science the advance of medicine is hindered in part by the quality of available data. I also can't help but wonder what the breakdown of PTSD cases is with respect to gender. My educated guess might be that women represent a disproportionately high percentage of the total number (when compared against their representation of the general population) because I would guess that women have better and more active health care seeking behaviors and are thus more likely to get screened and have such a condition discovered. Men, especially those from cultures in which machismo reigns, seem less likely to seek out medical attention...even when it is urgent that they do so. In my opinion many men are still raised to avoid, deny or minimize their experience of pain. To admit to being in pain is somehow to be thought of us as not being manly or being 'less than'.
I feel that we all lose out when people cannot simply admit to their pain and seek treatment. Sometimes it's a matter of how they were raised in their own families. Sometimes it is also or separately an issue of culture. And then there is the influence of religion and spirituality. There are many possible explanations. What I also feel, as I continue to emerge from my own strange state of being that I called 'life' for so long, is that many people walking around are a shadow of their potential selves precisely because they simply refuse to confront their own pain. And yet the only guaranteed way to have even a chance of solving a problem is to first acknowledge its existence. And many won't even do that. I certainly feel this has been true of my paternal family of origin. Avoidance and denial can be so incredibly toxic.
I have heard nothing from my relatives whom I wrote to this past week regarding my thoughts about my father. I do not know what I can expect...if anything. What I do know is that I need to continue to focus on my own healing journey. Despite the bumps and detours I continue to feel quite good most of the time. I have moments when I feel especially down but I do not see them metastasizing into a depressive affect. I am done with depression...now and even forever I think. I am learning some excellent skills to cultivate my emotional health.
My grief is certainly still with me. And that is due partly to the poor skills men typically have regarding grief. But I am learning and moving forwards. I am determined not to let my past limit what I can realize of my potential.
I have scheduled what I hope will be my final physical therapy evaluation for Monday, February 3rd. This evaluation will focus specifically on my left foot and lower leg. My goal of completing physical therapy by March 1st still seems to be a realistic one. It will be a sweet relief when the only therapy I am seeking out is psychotherapy. I still marvel at how well I was able to ignore my own pain and grief for so long. But it didn't serve me well in the long run. I was only being dragged down by my willingness to ignore it.
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