Thursday, January 16, 2014

Going Deeply Within during the Heart of Winter

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The moon was full recently.  I went out walking with the dogs and noticed the beautiful light of the moon illuminating the snowy landscape.  The beauty of winter is so different from that of other seasons.  The whiteness of the snow covered world can soften the rough edges we see more easily in other seasons.  Sound travels differently as well because the atmosphere is so much colder.  Have you ever noticed the difference between a passenger plan flying overhead in winter compared to one in summer?  It is remarkable.

I am staying at home much of today so that I can get myself better organized and clear my focus.  There are still many loose ends to tie up.  I continue to grow stronger every day.  I am delighted by what my future can potentially hold as I continue on my course of healing.  I have such an amazing amount of energy despite the dormancy of the world outside my windows.  I cannot recall a time when I have handled the season of winter so well.

This evening after assisting with dinner service at the Aliveness Project I went to Pathways Health Resource Center and participated in a Laughter Yoga class.  It was the first time I have ever done 'laughter yoga'.  And I was the only participant!  So I felt I was a bit in the spotlight.  As I made my way home I pondered the topics of grief and laughter.  I came to feel that laughter is, in one sense, the opposite side of grief.  It is its counterpoint.  I have had too much grief in my life and not enough laughter.  This is just another way to articulate a fundamental imbalance in my life that I need to change for the good of my own long term health.

The temperature dropped precipitously over the course of the day.  It was dark and cold when I arrived home.  I found myself wanting spring to arrive sooner rather than later...certainly sooner than it did last year.  The wind chill is below 0F now.  But the most sobering news of all is that we might have a cold weather outbreak on par with what we experienced ten days ago about ten days from now.  We are traversing those days in which winter is at its peak power.

In other news, I will finally complete another important step in my therapeutic process in the next few weeks.  I spoke with my therapist yesterday about what I feel is a healthy way to move forward in regards to my paternal family of origin.

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