Wednesday, January 29, 2014
I just came home a little while ago after having lunch with my friend Keith at the Aliveness Project. I can definitely tell the days are growing longer and the sun is arcing higher in the sky. But it's still cold. And the world appears quite dormant. But I know there is life underground. One day the sun's power shall overpower the cold and the ice will melt away. Spring will come.
It might seem like I am a bit depressed considering the beginning of my posting for today. I am not. I am still feeling the afterglow of the news I received yesterday that I am sub-clinical. Such news calls for celebration.
Recent engaging meetings with friends and new friends has led me to wish to post another open letter on this page. Earlier this month I posted an open letter to Gabrielle Giffords after reading an op-ed piece she wrote which appeared in the New York Times. So here comes another one. This letter is written to what I call the wounded warrior. This can include military veterans, activists, government officials, police, detectives, investigators, fathers and anyone whose daily life demands much of them.
Dear Wounded Warriors,
I count myself among you. I have been writing of my life journey in immense detail since last summer. I consider myself a warrior in the cause for creating a more just and compassionate world. And like you I have experienced my share of challenges, disappointments, pain, confusion and even agony. I have been profoundly wounded at different times in my life. You know the experience of such broadsiding pain.
I write to you today to make a request of you. Do not turn away from your pain. Do not hide it within yourself. In that densest of darkness you can find the brightest of light. In your pain, anger, grief and despair you are not alone. There is the sweet breath of spring calling you to remember the beauty of days gone by which can and will come again if only you should trust in the process of journeying into the darkness. I have been on my own journey into darkness and am still making my way through its shadowy terrain. And I am a much better man for having agreed to make the journey. Do not turn away from your pain.
I believe some among you might feel that it is not masculine to express pain. You have come to believe that manhood and vulnerability cannot exist in the same body, in the same breath, in the same room. Your fathers, grandfathers, ministers, brothers, bosses and others have perhaps convinced you of this. But I believe it is not true. And I am not the only man who believes as such. Do you hear the profound yearning within your heart that exclaims resoundingly when you merely gently admit that you do in fact have pain? Do you feel the release within you? Do you know the pregnant potential within your darkness?
I am an American citizen and grew up in the United States. I know this culture well. I ask you this: What is manhood to you? What does it mean to be a warrior? I will tell you now what I believe.
To be a man is to respect all creation around you.
To be a man is to respect the power of your heart, voice and mind.
To be a man is to speak out against injustice that deprives others of their most basic needs.
To be a man is to respect other men as well as all women.
To be a man is to know you have a unique place and role to play in this world.
To be a man is to gaze at the starry night uncluttered by clouds, wind or moon and know you belong.
I am not on good terms with my father. If you read posts in my blog you will be able to discern the background story. I love him. But I believe he turned away from his pain long ago in a mistaken belief that avoiding his pain would be its cure. And yet I sense there was no cure, no release, no easy breath. What is the source of his pain? I would suspect it lies within the realm of his relationship with his father. Ah yes, fathers and sons. Could there be a richer source of epic tales than the journeys we sons take with our fathers? I do not believe so.
Last year I went to the Minnesota Men's Conference. While at the conference I met a number of men who struggle with some of the same issues I do. Others have unique journeys I can only imagine. I still remember one man who had previously served in the military. He alluded to that experience and disclosed some details about his relationship with his son. It sounded as if it pained him to not be more forthright about his life history. Turn towards the pain, please. It is difficult...but the journey is rich.
I have occasionally wondered if my own father's life history includes some sort of pain or trauma that took place while he was in the Army. I can neither confirm nor deny this. I can only wonder. But in this moment all I can do is allow my father to live his chosen life and not push him. It is his choice to avoid painful matters. But in doing so it has caused me the pain of estrangement.
Many of us have witnessed some unspeakably horrible circumstances at one time or another in our lives. This is not surprising. Our world is filled with beauty...and horror. And yet nothing can defile our inherent dignity...nothing can truly strip us of our humanity and beauty. Do you know this? Have you felt this? Have you seen this truth shining back to you in the smiles of other men? Can you allow yourself to bask in the glow of such energy?
Please, turn towards your pain...rather than away. Walk outside, listen to the wind whispering in the trees, and feel eternity in your bones. There is no darkness that cannot be conquered.
I welcome you to read more entries from my blog, most especially what I shared in the daily post entitled "War as Performance 'Art'".
Thank you for reading.
I just came home a little while ago after having lunch with my friend Keith at the Aliveness Project. I can definitely tell the days are growing longer and the sun is arcing higher in the sky. But it's still cold. And the world appears quite dormant. But I know there is life underground. One day the sun's power shall overpower the cold and the ice will melt away. Spring will come.
It might seem like I am a bit depressed considering the beginning of my posting for today. I am not. I am still feeling the afterglow of the news I received yesterday that I am sub-clinical. Such news calls for celebration.
Recent engaging meetings with friends and new friends has led me to wish to post another open letter on this page. Earlier this month I posted an open letter to Gabrielle Giffords after reading an op-ed piece she wrote which appeared in the New York Times. So here comes another one. This letter is written to what I call the wounded warrior. This can include military veterans, activists, government officials, police, detectives, investigators, fathers and anyone whose daily life demands much of them.
Dear Wounded Warriors,
I count myself among you. I have been writing of my life journey in immense detail since last summer. I consider myself a warrior in the cause for creating a more just and compassionate world. And like you I have experienced my share of challenges, disappointments, pain, confusion and even agony. I have been profoundly wounded at different times in my life. You know the experience of such broadsiding pain.
I write to you today to make a request of you. Do not turn away from your pain. Do not hide it within yourself. In that densest of darkness you can find the brightest of light. In your pain, anger, grief and despair you are not alone. There is the sweet breath of spring calling you to remember the beauty of days gone by which can and will come again if only you should trust in the process of journeying into the darkness. I have been on my own journey into darkness and am still making my way through its shadowy terrain. And I am a much better man for having agreed to make the journey. Do not turn away from your pain.
I believe some among you might feel that it is not masculine to express pain. You have come to believe that manhood and vulnerability cannot exist in the same body, in the same breath, in the same room. Your fathers, grandfathers, ministers, brothers, bosses and others have perhaps convinced you of this. But I believe it is not true. And I am not the only man who believes as such. Do you hear the profound yearning within your heart that exclaims resoundingly when you merely gently admit that you do in fact have pain? Do you feel the release within you? Do you know the pregnant potential within your darkness?
I am an American citizen and grew up in the United States. I know this culture well. I ask you this: What is manhood to you? What does it mean to be a warrior? I will tell you now what I believe.
To be a man is to respect all creation around you.
To be a man is to respect the power of your heart, voice and mind.
To be a man is to speak out against injustice that deprives others of their most basic needs.
To be a man is to respect other men as well as all women.
To be a man is to know you have a unique place and role to play in this world.
To be a man is to gaze at the starry night uncluttered by clouds, wind or moon and know you belong.
I am not on good terms with my father. If you read posts in my blog you will be able to discern the background story. I love him. But I believe he turned away from his pain long ago in a mistaken belief that avoiding his pain would be its cure. And yet I sense there was no cure, no release, no easy breath. What is the source of his pain? I would suspect it lies within the realm of his relationship with his father. Ah yes, fathers and sons. Could there be a richer source of epic tales than the journeys we sons take with our fathers? I do not believe so.
Last year I went to the Minnesota Men's Conference. While at the conference I met a number of men who struggle with some of the same issues I do. Others have unique journeys I can only imagine. I still remember one man who had previously served in the military. He alluded to that experience and disclosed some details about his relationship with his son. It sounded as if it pained him to not be more forthright about his life history. Turn towards the pain, please. It is difficult...but the journey is rich.
I have occasionally wondered if my own father's life history includes some sort of pain or trauma that took place while he was in the Army. I can neither confirm nor deny this. I can only wonder. But in this moment all I can do is allow my father to live his chosen life and not push him. It is his choice to avoid painful matters. But in doing so it has caused me the pain of estrangement.
Many of us have witnessed some unspeakably horrible circumstances at one time or another in our lives. This is not surprising. Our world is filled with beauty...and horror. And yet nothing can defile our inherent dignity...nothing can truly strip us of our humanity and beauty. Do you know this? Have you felt this? Have you seen this truth shining back to you in the smiles of other men? Can you allow yourself to bask in the glow of such energy?
Please, turn towards your pain...rather than away. Walk outside, listen to the wind whispering in the trees, and feel eternity in your bones. There is no darkness that cannot be conquered.
I welcome you to read more entries from my blog, most especially what I shared in the daily post entitled "War as Performance 'Art'".
Thank you for reading.
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!