Monday, June 30, 2014
The anniversary of the beginning of my blog is this Wednesday. My life is much, much different than it was a mere year ago. Thankfully I have worked through a lot of the anger I was carrying around. Now, as I have noted more frequently in posts from the last several months, the grief and sadness is what predominates my affect. I have my moments of happiness but they are not yet very consistent. In time I trust that this will change. As for now I try to ride the waves of grief as best as I can.
In honor of my grieving process as well as the year anniversary of my deeper journey I offer the following listing of myths related to grief. I myself did not create this list. I took it word for word from a piece of material that came across my eyes last year. I'll have to look up the source later. As I read through the list I can see that I still struggle with some of these myths.
MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF
Talking is the only way through...
Grief needs expression but there are many ways, some of them silent
After one year, things are much better...
Grief has no timeline
Not crying is a sign of denial or abnormal grief
Crying is individual and has a lot to do with history
Men grieve one way, women another
Some people emote, others do not
Children grieve briefly, or not at all
Children grieve for a long time, in intervals and it often resurfaces at developmental milestones
Working a lot is a sign of delayed or denied grief
Distraction is a normal response to grief unless one compromises other life commitments
Going to the cemetery is a necessary ritual in grief
This ritual is highly individual and often related to family traditions
People related to each other (should) grieve alike
Each had a unique relationship to the person or event that happened and will react in their own way and on their own timetable
The anniversary of the beginning of my blog is this Wednesday. My life is much, much different than it was a mere year ago. Thankfully I have worked through a lot of the anger I was carrying around. Now, as I have noted more frequently in posts from the last several months, the grief and sadness is what predominates my affect. I have my moments of happiness but they are not yet very consistent. In time I trust that this will change. As for now I try to ride the waves of grief as best as I can.
In honor of my grieving process as well as the year anniversary of my deeper journey I offer the following listing of myths related to grief. I myself did not create this list. I took it word for word from a piece of material that came across my eyes last year. I'll have to look up the source later. As I read through the list I can see that I still struggle with some of these myths.
MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF
Talking is the only way through...
Grief needs expression but there are many ways, some of them silent
After one year, things are much better...
Grief has no timeline
Not crying is a sign of denial or abnormal grief
Crying is individual and has a lot to do with history
Men grieve one way, women another
Some people emote, others do not
Children grieve briefly, or not at all
Children grieve for a long time, in intervals and it often resurfaces at developmental milestones
Working a lot is a sign of delayed or denied grief
Distraction is a normal response to grief unless one compromises other life commitments
Going to the cemetery is a necessary ritual in grief
This ritual is highly individual and often related to family traditions
People related to each other (should) grieve alike
Each had a unique relationship to the person or event that happened and will react in their own way and on their own timetable
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!