Thursday, June 26, 2014
Today is a much more mellow day. For this fact I am most grateful.
The highlight of my day thus far has been my follow-up appointment for vocational rehabilitation services this morning. It appears I am about to enjoy a torrent of supportive referrals. I also met with my lovely physical therapist this morning prior to my vocational rehab appointment. All in all it's been a good day! It's not even snowing, raining, hailing, flooding or windy outside. Last night the temperature was ideal for opening the windows and allowing fresh air inside. I slept wonderfully well.
As if I needed a sign that yes indeed life can become more enjoyable and people can and do heal I unexpectedly encountered a woman on the bus this morning whom I first met last year when I was still in the very early stages of my recovery process. I met her through the Resilience Training program. The Resilience Training program is offered through the Penny George Institute for Health and Healing. I learned about the Penny George Institute last summer when I was coming to Abbott Northwestern Hospital for my own health care. I felt empathy for this woman's situation as she had also been affected by trauma. She appeared much better today when I saw her on the bus. And it was interesting to learn she came across the scrap of paper I wrote my blog address on last night. Apparently it had been lost for all this time. The universe works in interesting ways.
I am still adjusting to the reality of life featuring full time work. It feels a bit overwhelming at times. I am in a much, much better psychic place compared to last autumn. Sometimes it can take quite a while to tear down much of the former infrastructure of your life and start anew. It's a deep process that requires mindfulness, patience and endurance. Thankfully I am capable of all three.
I am aware that something profound is still unfolding within me. When I disembarked from the bus this morning for my first appointment I noticed the leaves flittering in some nearby trees. The beauty caught my eye. I felt briefly enchanted. Enchantment is, I think, nearly the antithesis of depression, anxiety and dissociation. Enchantment necessarily implies a deep participation in and awareness of the present moment.
......
And now a brief post-script for the evening.
I was disheartened to receive an email reply from the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services today in which I was essentially informed there was nothing anyone within the Department could do in response to a question I posed in my initial email. I wrote and asked for the opportunity to speak with a knowledgable official within the department about what role the department 'should' have played in protecting me in the aftermath of the attempted murder of my father in 1982. In my opinion a number of institutions failed to attend to my most basic need for safety.
I have never been able to find the closure I have desired to find regarding this tragedy that caused me such grave harm. I suppose I will have to find a way to move on and just allow the unanswered questions...to remain.
Today is a much more mellow day. For this fact I am most grateful.
The highlight of my day thus far has been my follow-up appointment for vocational rehabilitation services this morning. It appears I am about to enjoy a torrent of supportive referrals. I also met with my lovely physical therapist this morning prior to my vocational rehab appointment. All in all it's been a good day! It's not even snowing, raining, hailing, flooding or windy outside. Last night the temperature was ideal for opening the windows and allowing fresh air inside. I slept wonderfully well.
As if I needed a sign that yes indeed life can become more enjoyable and people can and do heal I unexpectedly encountered a woman on the bus this morning whom I first met last year when I was still in the very early stages of my recovery process. I met her through the Resilience Training program. The Resilience Training program is offered through the Penny George Institute for Health and Healing. I learned about the Penny George Institute last summer when I was coming to Abbott Northwestern Hospital for my own health care. I felt empathy for this woman's situation as she had also been affected by trauma. She appeared much better today when I saw her on the bus. And it was interesting to learn she came across the scrap of paper I wrote my blog address on last night. Apparently it had been lost for all this time. The universe works in interesting ways.
I am still adjusting to the reality of life featuring full time work. It feels a bit overwhelming at times. I am in a much, much better psychic place compared to last autumn. Sometimes it can take quite a while to tear down much of the former infrastructure of your life and start anew. It's a deep process that requires mindfulness, patience and endurance. Thankfully I am capable of all three.
I am aware that something profound is still unfolding within me. When I disembarked from the bus this morning for my first appointment I noticed the leaves flittering in some nearby trees. The beauty caught my eye. I felt briefly enchanted. Enchantment is, I think, nearly the antithesis of depression, anxiety and dissociation. Enchantment necessarily implies a deep participation in and awareness of the present moment.
......
And now a brief post-script for the evening.
I was disheartened to receive an email reply from the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services today in which I was essentially informed there was nothing anyone within the Department could do in response to a question I posed in my initial email. I wrote and asked for the opportunity to speak with a knowledgable official within the department about what role the department 'should' have played in protecting me in the aftermath of the attempted murder of my father in 1982. In my opinion a number of institutions failed to attend to my most basic need for safety.
I have never been able to find the closure I have desired to find regarding this tragedy that caused me such grave harm. I suppose I will have to find a way to move on and just allow the unanswered questions...to remain.
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