Sunday, June 15, 2014
This past February my friend Erin Langley shared the following quote on her Facebook page:
You will lose everything. Your money, your power, your fame, your success, perhaps even your memories. Your looks will go. Loved ones will die. Your body will fall apart. Everything that seems permanent is impermanent and will be smashed. Experience will gradually, or not so gradually, strip away everything that it can strip away. Waking up means facing this reality with open eyes and no longer turning away. But right now, we stand on sacred and holy ground, for that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realizing this is the key to unspeakable joy. Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you. This may sound trivial, obvious, like nothing, but really it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence. Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude. Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar.
— Jeff Foster
This is the type of truth I suspect that many people would prefer not to really ponder at any great length. And I understand that. What healthy person would want to brood and obsess over the inevitable?
This afternoon I learned about the death of a good man who crossed my path two years ago while I lived in Washington, DC. Mark helped me with transportation to medical appointments I had in the summer of 2012. He didn't ask me for anything in return. I met Mark when I was a singing member of the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington, DC. The following is in honor of Mark...and everyone else I have loved...and lost.
For you Mark Hennen
Everything Possible by Flirtations
From the album Out On The Road
We have cleared off the table
The leftovers saved
Washed the dishes, and put them away
I have told you a story
And tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day
As the moon sets its sail
To carry you to sleep
Over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company
You can be anybody that you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
But the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're gone.
Some girls grow up strong and bold
Some boys are quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some grow in their own space and time
Some women love women
And some men love men
Some raise children, and some never do
You can dream all the day, never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you.
Don't be rattled by names, by taunts or games,
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you.
You can be anybody that you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
But the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're gone.
Oh yes, the love you leave behind when you're gone.
And now something from one year ago...
This past February my friend Erin Langley shared the following quote on her Facebook page:
You will lose everything. Your money, your power, your fame, your success, perhaps even your memories. Your looks will go. Loved ones will die. Your body will fall apart. Everything that seems permanent is impermanent and will be smashed. Experience will gradually, or not so gradually, strip away everything that it can strip away. Waking up means facing this reality with open eyes and no longer turning away. But right now, we stand on sacred and holy ground, for that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realizing this is the key to unspeakable joy. Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you. This may sound trivial, obvious, like nothing, but really it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence. Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude. Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar.
— Jeff Foster
I have to admit these words strung together in this way blindsided me almost as badly as that day last June when it became clear I would benefit from still more therapy. The naked, unmitigated, un-sugar-coated, undeniable truth of our existence is encapsulated in these words. A day will come when I will die and everything I have amassed will be extraneous; I will have no use for it because I will be gone from this life. And the same thing will happen to you. And the same will happen to your parents, siblings, children and every single other person you have known and will still meet in the future.
This is the type of truth I suspect that many people would prefer not to really ponder at any great length. And I understand that. What healthy person would want to brood and obsess over the inevitable?
......
This afternoon I learned about the death of a good man who crossed my path two years ago while I lived in Washington, DC. Mark helped me with transportation to medical appointments I had in the summer of 2012. He didn't ask me for anything in return. I met Mark when I was a singing member of the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington, DC. The following is in honor of Mark...and everyone else I have loved...and lost.
For you Mark Hennen
Everything Possible by Flirtations
From the album Out On The Road
We have cleared off the table
The leftovers saved
Washed the dishes, and put them away
I have told you a story
And tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day
As the moon sets its sail
To carry you to sleep
Over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company
You can be anybody that you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
But the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're gone.
Some girls grow up strong and bold
Some boys are quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some grow in their own space and time
Some women love women
And some men love men
Some raise children, and some never do
You can dream all the day, never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you.
Don't be rattled by names, by taunts or games,
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you.
You can be anybody that you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
But the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're gone.
Oh yes, the love you leave behind when you're gone.
And now something from one year ago...
June 15, 2013
A few days ago my friend Birgit led me through a
journey experience. It was quite
vivid. After asking me to think of
a mountain on the planet I wished to imagine myself on I chose the Big Island
of Hawaii. Considering the depth
of the Pacific Ocean it is indeed quite a mountain in the middle of the ocean.
As the journey progressed I found myself
marveling at an expansive oak tree that was growing so quickly that it whirled
through the cycle of the seasons many, many times. With each cycle it would burst forth with acorns. These acorns would later rain down upon
the hill I was sitting on. The
tree was so prolific that the acorns eventually became a torrent that spilled
down the hillside into the ocean in the distance. It was amazing and surreal.
During the journey a few different animals were
present. These included the fox,
deer and raven. The foxes danced
about in a circle outside of a circle of deer. One fox in particular climbed the oak tree and repeatedly
grabbed handfuls of acorns and threw them up into the air in a spirit of
celebration and exultation. It was
beautiful and exhilarating to watch.
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!