Looking Back One Year Ago: May 31, 2013

Saturday, May 31, 2014


Written one year ago today...

Day 19 - My Finale

What a whirlwind adventure this trip has been. At different moments this trip has been exciting, overwhelming, exhausting, exhilarating, painful, funny, wonderful, strange, peculiar, inspiring, fruitful, apparently pointless and many other things I cannot now easily name.

I just came back from visiting with my uncle Heiner and his family. It was nice to eat two breakfasts in a single day...I have been "guilty" of doing that before.

This trip was both enlightening and painful because I realize that certain ways I have seen the world and thought of my relationship with my blood family were completely wrong. I feel like I am personally experiencing something akin to what Europe experienced when it emerged from the Dark Ages into a brighter and more promising time. I am so grateful to now emerge from my own personal darkness brought on in part by this faulty way of seeing the world at large.

I have been experiencing a lot of physical pain while on this trip as well. Some of it I attribute to the demands I have placed upon my body to schlep around the Continent in a mere nineteen days. I cannot ever remember hearing so much commentary from my knees...some of which has been the consistent message to slow down and be mindful that my body is indeed not indestructible. Indeed it is not!

Yet some of the pain I am sure also is a result of the intensive learning I have been doing...both for my project as well as on a personal level. Psychological pain and physical pain, though different, can certainly interact with one another...cleaving the human person into compartments...such as the emotional body, physical body, mental body, etc, while useful, has its limitations. I believe in seeing myself and the world at large in a holistic way.

I can't be thankful enough that my mentor Apela Colorado came into my life some 10 years ago now. She taught me how to honor my ancestors in a deep, meaningful way that forever reverberated across the future of my life. I have utilized methods I learned from her in this journey I have been making these last many days. I cannot imagine there is not anything I could have done, beyond what I already have done, to honor my ancestors more deeply than I have. I pray that my meditation, offerings and visitations will help me achieve the best life possible that I am capable of creating for myself. The old has passed away...and now there is room for the new to emerge.

I have also come to realize how much I enjoy being a part of the transmission of knowledge. By that I mean it gives me great pleasure to help educate people and bring them joy and happiness through education. I have been acutely aware of this pleasure each and every time I have shared my knowledge of the book Zero Limits with friends, family and complete strangers. It is GREAT FUN to plant seeds and have no clue what might come to be from your efforts. It's obvious I need to be working in education in some sort of capacity.

Thank you again to all my friends and family who love and support me.