Looking Back One Year Ago: May 14, 2013

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

My writing one year ago today...

Day 2, Part 1

So actually this "day" has not ended...but the calendar now reads Tuesday at nearly 12 Noon...I basically did not sleep at all on the flight. I rarely expect to sleep well on long distance flights...no matter how comfortable the seats are it just doesn't work well for me.

So now I will fight the jet lag off and do my best to stay awake until it is time to go to sleep here this evening...at some sort of reasonable hour.

It is raining on the loft room I am staying in. The sound of the rain is amazingly soothing.

Lots of memories of my childhood and adulthood played through my mind on the plane and also as I walked through Brussels. I sense it will be an interesting time.

The United flight was not gay enough...even though one of the flight attendants' names was Deeva. Yeah...that is not a misprint. Deeva.

Day 2, Part 2

As I have indicated in previous posts my intention in making this trip to Europe has included a desire to reconnect with my mother's ancestral heritage. I plan to visit the graveyard where my mother's parents are buried...in the town of Borken in the state of Nordrhein-Westfalen. I am going to make an offering there to honor my ancestry and also to ask for help in moving beyond the stuck place I felt I have been in for so long.

Having done ancestral remembrance work in the past (my father's family) I know how powerful such work can be...and how much personal and community level healing can be unleashed by such work.

I look forward to what will unfold the next many days!

Day 2, Part 3

Here is one striking difference between the USA and Europe...here I just had a political discussion about numerous issues with the man who prepared my sandwich at Subway. I don't believe I have ever done that in the States. LOL.

And he was cute too.

Day 2, Part 4

There is still daylight flooding into my loft space as I write this. I'm feeling a bit less jetlagged; I expect I will sleep quite well tonight....unless I get a second wind and my body reverts to North American time!

I listened to the Naked Man CD and meditated on my life while allowing lavender to work its magic. I am profoundly grateful for this moment. I never would have guessed I would be where I am now at this time. And I hope (and I prayed) that this time will be a time of regeneration and rebirth for me. I believe it will be...partly due to the hints I see appearing here and there.

Yesterday, as I was preparing to leave Minneapolis I was reminded of the birch tree in the front yard where I live. It reminded me of the ancient powers attributed to the birch tree...as well as the Goddess Brigid...an important figure from the Celtic mythological pantheon. While visiting the Netherlands in 2004 I had an amazing experience appreciating the luminous whiteness of an entire grove of birch trees I encountered one evening while taking a walk. I brought some birch tree bark with me as a way of doing some ritual magical work to bring in all good things.

I gave thanks to all my ancestors for all good things that have been given to me in my life: my health, my friends, my talents, my education, my mind, my body, my eyes...everything. With hands raised to the cloudy heavens above I asked for help on this journey I am now on.

This has been a time of disintegration and re-integration (synthesis really) in my life. As an astrologer I follow the cycles of planets in my own life as well as those of people who ask me for my input. I began as a skeptic when I first explored this realm twelve years ago. Somehow it is a valid science. How exactly I do not know. Saturn in the fourth house supports a time of laying a new foundation in your life. That is what I am experiencing now. And yet as one of my favorite books on the subject of Saturn notes...the future cannot fully unfold until the past is addressed, accepted and released. In visiting my family for the first time in eleven years I hope to address the sense of separateness I developed in relation to my mother's family. The causes and effects are not so essential to assess and entangle myself in. And knowing the how of disentangling myself and moving forward is not necessary either. We don't have to know the how, when or where to make a commitment to move forward...we simply must open our hearts to a new possibility and begin the journey.

I felt waves of gratitude wash over me (yet again) for all the blessings of my life...and that includes all my friends. Thank you to all of you for your love and support. I recall once reading in a book that if the only prayer you ever say in your life is "Thank you" that that is enough.

Day 2, Part 5

I went to a Greek restaurant tonight at the recommendation of the owner of the B&B where I am staying. It was an enjoyable place...I tried not to check out the waiter too much...especially considering he had a ring on *that* finger...and also considering my relationships back home in the States.

I've been here not 24 hours yet and I already feel so much more alive. Travel always manages to do that for me! It's so amazing to have the opportunity to do this trip.

There is still a bit of light in the sky now. This reminds me of when I went to Norway three years ago for a class when I was still a student at the Monterey Institute of International Studies. The daylight there in summer was incredible.

At one point when my meal was over I could not help but think of my paternal grandfather. The waiter set out a container of toothpicks on my table...and then I thought of my grandfather Paul...and how often he had a toothpick in his mouth. Remember that Stephanie Geels?

I guess the jet lag is still quite intense...it's 1015 pm and I am not at all tired. Um...uh oh.