Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Will There Be An 'Ah-Ha' Moment?

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I am here at work early waiting to start my day.  It's another beautiful summer day outside and yet I am in my office cave.

I've been reflecting on the process of recovery this morning.  I've commented many times how recovery is not a straight, unbroken line.  There are peaks and valleys in the journey forward which seem to be an inevitable feature of the journey to a fuller, more rewarding life.

In a similar vein I suppose it would be true to state that there are no silver bullet answers that will quickly and permanently vanquish the disquieting aspects and challenges of life that affect many of our lives.  And yet still I wonder.  Maybe I am not correct in my belief.  Perhaps one day I will have a stunning insight while in a therapy session which will prove so radiant, enthralling and powerful that I will never be the same person again.  There are moments when I want to have such an experience...and then there are other times when I find myself hearing that quiet thought (of wisdom?) intoning the words 'Be careful what you wish for'.  Yes, be careful indeed.

Speaking of illustrious moments and strange inspirations I had a dream last night that featuring people swimming across a lake to see Jesus.  As I recall the lake was rather large (something that Minnesotans could respect).  It must have been summer because the lake was not frozen.  I don't recall having any personal connection to the person who swam across the lake as I watched.  Upon waking I couldn't help but think of the story in which Jesus is reputed to have walked on water.  But I didn't see him involved in any such shenanigans in the dream.  He seemed to be patiently waiting while people swam to him. 

I don't have too many dreams (that I can recall anyhow) of avatars.  I thus make something of a point to note them when I do have such dreams.  Perhaps the swimmer in the dream represents some aspect of me who is exerting effort to attain a higher form of life as symbolized by Jesus on the far shore.  And yet I have become a bit risk-averse as of late.  I am much more careful to make well discerned decisions now.  Such discernment can be interpreted to be the hallmark of maturity.  Or it can be interpreted as the behavior of a person overly consumed in fear.

What I can honestly say is that my apathy remains a bit strong these days.  Just doing all the healthy things I do is enough for each and every day.  Exercising, writing, dreaming, meeting new people and trying new things is enough for my life now.

I would like to spend more time with my flesh and blood friends than I have been doing lately.  But when I cannot see them in person seeing their zany, humorous and witty postings on Facebook brightens my day.  Thank you to all my friends for being there.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!