Saturday, July 26, 2014
This morning I found myself feeling quite lethargic. I feel very unmotivated to do much of anything. But I believe that makes perfect sense considering how hard I have been working for the last year.
The phrase 'space between the words' was in my mind this morning. I suppose it came to me after I posted a picture from Hawaii on my Facebook page in honor of a young man who recently died in an apparent suicide. There is such spaciousness in that photo of the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean. When I gaze at that image it practically invites me into a meditation on the spaciousness I would like to have in my life. I need space in my own life. I need space to heal and create a new vision for myself. In short, I need space between the actions and words of my life. I need to pace myself.
I have made this statement before and I will make it again: Healing is a process. Healing requires time and space. To rush the process is to increase the risk of many things. In trying to rush through to the endpoint a person might suddenly discover he has run out of energy prematurely. I have heard it repeatedly that the body has greater wisdom than the mind. I believe this is true. When focusing intently on a goal it is critical to inquire of the body's resources. This requires an ability to be with your body in a quiet, curious, open way. Rushing around, in my opinion, tends to undermine your ability to do the (often) quiet work of self-inquiry that is (again my opinion) a necessary ingredient to true healing.
So where is the space between the words in my own life? Is there enough space between my words, actions, phone calls, activities, social calendar and so on? Is there enough space for the grief, the anxiety, the wonderment, the confusion, the excitement and all the other affects I have experienced throughout this last year? And if there isn't enough space how can I make more space?
I began this blog over a year ago as a bit of an experiment. I wanted to see if I could decisively commit to undertaking a daily practice and make it work. Thus far I have made it work. I have been very pleased with my dedication. And yet there must be space between my words. There must be space in my life for the good as well as time dedicated to expunging the less than good.
Yesterday morning, upon waking up, I nearly felt myself enter a tantrum state characteristic of a little child who is not getting what he wants. I felt really annoyed that I had to get up early, yet again, to go to a job that does little for me beyond make my very sustenance possible. But then I feel compelled to ponder what I just wrote. How is my work done to provide for my very sustenance a little thing? It isn't. The needs and joys of the body (do you actually enjoy yourself when you eat?) are no small thing. Indeed, as time passes and I mature in my own way I am more and more convinced the simple pleasures in life are the most important.
As for me and my life in this moment I am glad it is Saturday. I will be taking the day off from writing tomorrow. I heartily enjoy offering my thoughts and feelings in a forum such that others might benefit. But I also must attend to my own deepest needs. In doing so I am cultivating a more balanced life.
This morning I found myself feeling quite lethargic. I feel very unmotivated to do much of anything. But I believe that makes perfect sense considering how hard I have been working for the last year.
The phrase 'space between the words' was in my mind this morning. I suppose it came to me after I posted a picture from Hawaii on my Facebook page in honor of a young man who recently died in an apparent suicide. There is such spaciousness in that photo of the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean. When I gaze at that image it practically invites me into a meditation on the spaciousness I would like to have in my life. I need space in my own life. I need space to heal and create a new vision for myself. In short, I need space between the actions and words of my life. I need to pace myself.
I have made this statement before and I will make it again: Healing is a process. Healing requires time and space. To rush the process is to increase the risk of many things. In trying to rush through to the endpoint a person might suddenly discover he has run out of energy prematurely. I have heard it repeatedly that the body has greater wisdom than the mind. I believe this is true. When focusing intently on a goal it is critical to inquire of the body's resources. This requires an ability to be with your body in a quiet, curious, open way. Rushing around, in my opinion, tends to undermine your ability to do the (often) quiet work of self-inquiry that is (again my opinion) a necessary ingredient to true healing.
So where is the space between the words in my own life? Is there enough space between my words, actions, phone calls, activities, social calendar and so on? Is there enough space for the grief, the anxiety, the wonderment, the confusion, the excitement and all the other affects I have experienced throughout this last year? And if there isn't enough space how can I make more space?
I began this blog over a year ago as a bit of an experiment. I wanted to see if I could decisively commit to undertaking a daily practice and make it work. Thus far I have made it work. I have been very pleased with my dedication. And yet there must be space between my words. There must be space in my life for the good as well as time dedicated to expunging the less than good.
Yesterday morning, upon waking up, I nearly felt myself enter a tantrum state characteristic of a little child who is not getting what he wants. I felt really annoyed that I had to get up early, yet again, to go to a job that does little for me beyond make my very sustenance possible. But then I feel compelled to ponder what I just wrote. How is my work done to provide for my very sustenance a little thing? It isn't. The needs and joys of the body (do you actually enjoy yourself when you eat?) are no small thing. Indeed, as time passes and I mature in my own way I am more and more convinced the simple pleasures in life are the most important.
As for me and my life in this moment I am glad it is Saturday. I will be taking the day off from writing tomorrow. I heartily enjoy offering my thoughts and feelings in a forum such that others might benefit. But I also must attend to my own deepest needs. In doing so I am cultivating a more balanced life.
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!