Sunday, December 22, 2013
The Winter Solstice has come and gone. Now begins the journey back up from the abyss of darkness that culminated yesterday. Today I completed the move out of my former residence. I was living there at the time of my diagnosis in June. It became an overly stressful environment in the last several months. Indeed, the lack of simple respect I felt went on for months began to wear more and more on me. Towards the end I could feel my heightened anxiety was undermining my otherwise stellar recovery process. Thankfully this difficult time is now in the past.
Now the outer world will finally begin mirroring that within me. As I continue to recover the world outside will gradually become brighter over the course of the next six months. I am excited by the range of possibilities that may now open to me! I plan to spend the time between now and January 1st focusing some concentrated attention on what I wish to create in the short, medium and long term future.
I feel my anxiety level is continuing to lessen as time passes and I continue my therapeutic recovery process. Having the opportunity to play with dogs as part of my new home environment is also a wonderful perk. I need more play time in my life; I am gradually making improvements in my life and creating the space for more and more fun.
Despite my continued improvement I had an experience today that reminded me that it is essential that I clear out my internal clutter and negative thinking. While taking the Number 5 bus through Minneapolis today I inadvertently became a witness to a heated altercation that eventually became physically violent. The heated 'conversation' took place over the course of many blocks as the bus traveled southward. I had a bad feeling about what was unfolding and intuitively felt it could become violent. Eventually it did. And as soon as it did so I immediately disembarked from the bus. I then called Metro Transit to report the incident; the bus driver did nothing to address the heated words until fists were being thrown. I found this lack of response ridiculous. Disruptive and dangerous people should be promptly removed to protect the safety of other passengers.
Naturally you can well imagine this was a triggering type of experience. My anxiety level shot up and continued to do so until the altercation became physical. Later, once I found safety outside of the bus, I reflected on the incident. I quickly realized this event outside of me was a simple reflection of the anger within me that I am still working through. There is no more holistic or sensible conclusion to make. Thus I must attend to what is within me if I want to reduce the risk of finding myself in such potentially harmful scenarios. The surest way to manifest harm outside your body is to ruminate in harmful thoughts within your own mind.
I have spoken at other times in this blog about the Hawaiian healing art known as Ho'oponopono. I realize I need to apply this teaching in my life as a means of finding greater peace. This is one gift I can give myself in this holiday season.
The Winter Solstice has come and gone. Now begins the journey back up from the abyss of darkness that culminated yesterday. Today I completed the move out of my former residence. I was living there at the time of my diagnosis in June. It became an overly stressful environment in the last several months. Indeed, the lack of simple respect I felt went on for months began to wear more and more on me. Towards the end I could feel my heightened anxiety was undermining my otherwise stellar recovery process. Thankfully this difficult time is now in the past.
Now the outer world will finally begin mirroring that within me. As I continue to recover the world outside will gradually become brighter over the course of the next six months. I am excited by the range of possibilities that may now open to me! I plan to spend the time between now and January 1st focusing some concentrated attention on what I wish to create in the short, medium and long term future.
I feel my anxiety level is continuing to lessen as time passes and I continue my therapeutic recovery process. Having the opportunity to play with dogs as part of my new home environment is also a wonderful perk. I need more play time in my life; I am gradually making improvements in my life and creating the space for more and more fun.
Despite my continued improvement I had an experience today that reminded me that it is essential that I clear out my internal clutter and negative thinking. While taking the Number 5 bus through Minneapolis today I inadvertently became a witness to a heated altercation that eventually became physically violent. The heated 'conversation' took place over the course of many blocks as the bus traveled southward. I had a bad feeling about what was unfolding and intuitively felt it could become violent. Eventually it did. And as soon as it did so I immediately disembarked from the bus. I then called Metro Transit to report the incident; the bus driver did nothing to address the heated words until fists were being thrown. I found this lack of response ridiculous. Disruptive and dangerous people should be promptly removed to protect the safety of other passengers.
Naturally you can well imagine this was a triggering type of experience. My anxiety level shot up and continued to do so until the altercation became physical. Later, once I found safety outside of the bus, I reflected on the incident. I quickly realized this event outside of me was a simple reflection of the anger within me that I am still working through. There is no more holistic or sensible conclusion to make. Thus I must attend to what is within me if I want to reduce the risk of finding myself in such potentially harmful scenarios. The surest way to manifest harm outside your body is to ruminate in harmful thoughts within your own mind.
I have spoken at other times in this blog about the Hawaiian healing art known as Ho'oponopono. I realize I need to apply this teaching in my life as a means of finding greater peace. This is one gift I can give myself in this holiday season.
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