Sunday, December 1, 2013

December?

Sunday, December 1, 2013


Somehow I woke up this morning and the calendar now reads December.  How did that happen?  Today is an important day in the annual calendar that is used to mark a planetary scale burden that has proven to be a source of trauma to millions of people.  Today is the day known as World AIDS Day.  I am fortunate to be HIV negative and to have lost only a few friends to AIDS.  I do have some friends, however, who have lost dozens of friends to AIDS.  Being one of a few survivors from a whole generation of gay men who died of AIDS tends to create its own form of trauma.  Many of us walk around each day with some significant baggage.

Last night I went out and enjoyed myself dancing.  And yet again I had more than one moment when I noticed how very present I was in my body.  I suppose one day the unfamiliar will begin to feel familiar.  As for now it is still often a very novel experience for me to feel and be completely present in the present moment.  Prior to going out I went to the gym and again did some shoulder strengthening work.  I also 'de-stressed' by sitting in the dry sauna.  It's beginning to feel quite natural to pursue a regular gym regimen.  I have been a physically active person throughout my life.  I intend to be such a person from now on.

Though I am entering the holiday season with some significant challenges I can definitively say I am much better off than I was last year at this time.  I am proactively seeking out treatment, using a light therapy box, taking a vitamin D prescription and generally doing everything in my power to take good care of myself.  The benefits of my commitment to care for my health in the multiple daily ways I do will continue to pay off more in the longer term but I certainly am feeling the impact now as well.  Recovery is often never something that follows along a straight line.  Nevertheless my trend line is upward.

This coming week is going to prove an important one as I seek closure on my membership in an organization whose internal politics and general membership proved one of the greatest disappointments in my life.  I am going to need to take time to carefully and thoughtfully prepare myself for what I will face.




No comments:

Post a Comment

I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!