Saturday, December 14, 2013
Today was a day full of some very uplifting and very irritating moments.
I went to breakfast with a friend today. I just met this fellow a week ago at my local MCC congregation. I had an enjoyable conversation as we ate. I suppose you could say that we swapped war stories. Our relationships with our fathers have been rocky. We have other challenges in common as well. Yet we have survived these difficulties and are working diligently to move in a better direction in our lives. It has been wonderful to make a new friend. You can never have too many friends.
Later in the morning I went to the Basilica of St. Mary to attend a service that provided anointing for those who are sick. Despite the fact that I have not been a practicing Catholic in many years (and I also do not have any intention of returning to the Church despite the wondrous qualities being attributed to the new Pope) I thought it might benefit me to attend the service.
After the service I spoke briefly with the priest who presided over the service. I very concisely spoke of some of my earlier life trauma including the painful ending of my father's second marriage. I shared these details because there is an element to my personal life history and father's family that has long troubled me. Because I was raised Catholic and because my father and his siblings also grew up in the Catholic Church I had long been confused by my family's response to my father's near death and the immediate aftermath. It has long been my opinion that people who truly follow the teachings of Jesus Christ would openly express their concern, be proactive and also be solicitous of the welfare of any children directly affected if one of their own siblings were to nearly die in horrible circumstances such as what my father and I experienced. And yet to my knowledge that did not occur. And I felt this apparent failure was very unethical.
I have to admit I was quite surprised by how the priest responded to what I disclosed. He acknowledged that both American society and the Church have not done the best they could to address the variety of ills that can plague individuals, their families, their communities and the nation at large. Whether the burden is one of alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, gambling, child abuse or any number of other possibilities it's quite clear to me that this nation was a very different place decades ago. I do feel that we as a collective of some three hundred million people constitute a healthier citizenry than we did thirty, forty and fifty years ago. But there is still a long way to go.
Yet I must acknowledge I was pleasantly surprised by the response I received today. I felt the priest was more compassionate, open and kind than many other religious people I have met throughout my life. I departed the Basilica with a feeling of inspiration and hope after feeling a member of the clergy really honored the pain in my heart that I revealed to him today.
Later in the day I developed something of a headache. The discomfort is still with me now. As I made my way home in the cold and darkness I found myself struggling not to ruminate on more recent painful experiences I had within a local chorus (which I have alluded to in recent posts). So much of the pain I have felt in my life derives from the incredible injustice I have experienced due to the failure of a variety of institutions including my own family, law enforcement and organized religion. This local arts organization is just the latest example. I am willing to forgive people for transgressions that they may commit against me. But that doesn't mean that individuals who act without integrity or compassion should not be held accountable when their conduct proves disrespectful or even abusive.
As I go to sleep tonight I am going to focus on breathing and reflecting on the good within my life.
Today was a day full of some very uplifting and very irritating moments.
I went to breakfast with a friend today. I just met this fellow a week ago at my local MCC congregation. I had an enjoyable conversation as we ate. I suppose you could say that we swapped war stories. Our relationships with our fathers have been rocky. We have other challenges in common as well. Yet we have survived these difficulties and are working diligently to move in a better direction in our lives. It has been wonderful to make a new friend. You can never have too many friends.
Later in the morning I went to the Basilica of St. Mary to attend a service that provided anointing for those who are sick. Despite the fact that I have not been a practicing Catholic in many years (and I also do not have any intention of returning to the Church despite the wondrous qualities being attributed to the new Pope) I thought it might benefit me to attend the service.
After the service I spoke briefly with the priest who presided over the service. I very concisely spoke of some of my earlier life trauma including the painful ending of my father's second marriage. I shared these details because there is an element to my personal life history and father's family that has long troubled me. Because I was raised Catholic and because my father and his siblings also grew up in the Catholic Church I had long been confused by my family's response to my father's near death and the immediate aftermath. It has long been my opinion that people who truly follow the teachings of Jesus Christ would openly express their concern, be proactive and also be solicitous of the welfare of any children directly affected if one of their own siblings were to nearly die in horrible circumstances such as what my father and I experienced. And yet to my knowledge that did not occur. And I felt this apparent failure was very unethical.
I have to admit I was quite surprised by how the priest responded to what I disclosed. He acknowledged that both American society and the Church have not done the best they could to address the variety of ills that can plague individuals, their families, their communities and the nation at large. Whether the burden is one of alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, gambling, child abuse or any number of other possibilities it's quite clear to me that this nation was a very different place decades ago. I do feel that we as a collective of some three hundred million people constitute a healthier citizenry than we did thirty, forty and fifty years ago. But there is still a long way to go.
Yet I must acknowledge I was pleasantly surprised by the response I received today. I felt the priest was more compassionate, open and kind than many other religious people I have met throughout my life. I departed the Basilica with a feeling of inspiration and hope after feeling a member of the clergy really honored the pain in my heart that I revealed to him today.
Later in the day I developed something of a headache. The discomfort is still with me now. As I made my way home in the cold and darkness I found myself struggling not to ruminate on more recent painful experiences I had within a local chorus (which I have alluded to in recent posts). So much of the pain I have felt in my life derives from the incredible injustice I have experienced due to the failure of a variety of institutions including my own family, law enforcement and organized religion. This local arts organization is just the latest example. I am willing to forgive people for transgressions that they may commit against me. But that doesn't mean that individuals who act without integrity or compassion should not be held accountable when their conduct proves disrespectful or even abusive.
As I go to sleep tonight I am going to focus on breathing and reflecting on the good within my life.
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