Friday, December 20, 2013

Another Step In My Recovery

Friday, December 20, 2013

I am having my left foot reassessed this morning.  In the summer of 2012 I twisted my ankle three times in a span of about three weeks.  My ankle did not feel as if it had healed until last November or so.  I have since been wondering if the ankle did not heal properly as I continue to have some amount of pain and limitation in the use of my foot.

I have found my process of healing from PTSD to be so challenging in part because there has been so much to actually heal.  This past summer I felt as if I was in a maelstrom much of the time because there was so much swirling around in my heart and mind that I needed to finally address in a healthy way.  My 'life plate' seemed to be overflowing with issues that needed to be addressed.  Thankfully my committed efforts to addressing my challenges have begun to yield excellent returns on my 'investment'.  There is very little left in my physical body that still needs more attention than the basic physical activity I now give it on a daily basis.  I feel confident that the remaining issues will resolve in due time.

The Winter Solstice is now essentially here.  I feel relieved that my own improvement process will now begin to mirror the world outside my windows.  As I continue to heal the days will now begin to grow longer and one day it will again be spring and the world will be filled with green trees, flowers and other new life.

Last night I again had one of those experiences in which I intimately noticed the vividness of the world around me.  Everything appeared so amazingly sharp in my field of vision.  The Christmas lights, the snowbanks, the exhaust coming from idling cars, the buildings in downtown Minneapolis, the traffic lights, the barren trees...they all were so incredibly vivid.  It's so obvious to me now that I had been enduring a decades long anxiety disorder and not even fully aware of it.  Now that I am aware of it, and it has been properly diagnosed, I can truly set my sight on a future full of all the delights I wish to experience.

I went to the gym again this morning and attended my core conditioning class.  Despite some continued problems in my extremities my core has never felt as strong as it does now.  It took months for some of the new, healthy habits I established to begin to work some new magic in my life.  But now it feels completely normal to be as active as I am.  It really is quite amazing what you can accomplish when you set your mind squarely upon a goal.


So it appears I need to get some better shoes for myself.  This comes as no surprise actually.  The doctor I visited today gave me some recommendations on how to care for my feet to minimize any future additional distortion in the alignment of my feet.  So there is another project to work on.

My visit with my acupuncturist went well.  I find that I am now able to achieve some very deep states of relaxation.  I know I am also feeling relaxed simply because a very demanding week is finally over.
I am planning to enjoy a variety of festivities this weekend!

No comments:

Post a Comment

I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!