Tuesday, November 12, 2013
I am going to attend a class today that focuses on the issue of grief and the holidays. It is being offered at Pathways Health Crisis Resource Center here in Minneapolis. I discovered Pathways this past summer when I was first seeking out therapy for my diagnosis. I have come to think of Pathways as a pleasant way station for those seeking support during a time of difficulty. It's something like a rest stop along a highway or a sauna you might find at a very well equipped airport.
As I contemplate grief I sometimes visualize my current process as a person engaged in a search and rescue effort who is scanning a lake or ocean below him in search of survivors. The water symbolizes grief. The helicopter and all related rescue gear symbolize the tools we may each work with to journey through the shadowy world of our grief. I'll be taking a dip into the grief later today. Who knows what I will find as I make the journey. But I do hold strongly to the belief that the benefits of journeying through the terrain of grief can be many. It's a continued voyage into the unknown.
As predicted the temperature outside this morning is about 10F. I didn't feel ready for the season of darkness and cold earlier this year and I still do not feel all that prepared for it now as it confronts us with its growing power. I am fortunate to have been prescribed a light box by the psychiatrist who works with patients at the day treatment program I was attending the last two weeks. I have been using my light box since this past weekend. I expect I will have an easier time this winter because of my dedicated efforts to mindfully care for my health. When considering last winter I suspect I was experiencing a low grade dysthymia much of the time. I was putting myself through unnecessary hardship with the choices I was making.
As the world outside begins its long winter hibernation I will remain steadfast in feeding the fire within me. As I have said to my friends winter represents an ideal time to look within and explore grief. The darkness in the large world beyond our windows is a perfect milieu to encourage exploration of our deepest shadows within our own psyches.
As I continue my therapeutic journey I find myself able to articulate my experiences in my youth in countless slightly different variations. I realize part of my fundamental issue was quite simply my father's inability or unwillingness to be an explorer of those darker terrains. He could not acknowledge his own shadow and was thus something of a prisoner to it. And I felt held hostage with him. It makes perfect sense to me now that I felt as I did.
I am going to attend a class today that focuses on the issue of grief and the holidays. It is being offered at Pathways Health Crisis Resource Center here in Minneapolis. I discovered Pathways this past summer when I was first seeking out therapy for my diagnosis. I have come to think of Pathways as a pleasant way station for those seeking support during a time of difficulty. It's something like a rest stop along a highway or a sauna you might find at a very well equipped airport.
As I contemplate grief I sometimes visualize my current process as a person engaged in a search and rescue effort who is scanning a lake or ocean below him in search of survivors. The water symbolizes grief. The helicopter and all related rescue gear symbolize the tools we may each work with to journey through the shadowy world of our grief. I'll be taking a dip into the grief later today. Who knows what I will find as I make the journey. But I do hold strongly to the belief that the benefits of journeying through the terrain of grief can be many. It's a continued voyage into the unknown.
As predicted the temperature outside this morning is about 10F. I didn't feel ready for the season of darkness and cold earlier this year and I still do not feel all that prepared for it now as it confronts us with its growing power. I am fortunate to have been prescribed a light box by the psychiatrist who works with patients at the day treatment program I was attending the last two weeks. I have been using my light box since this past weekend. I expect I will have an easier time this winter because of my dedicated efforts to mindfully care for my health. When considering last winter I suspect I was experiencing a low grade dysthymia much of the time. I was putting myself through unnecessary hardship with the choices I was making.
As the world outside begins its long winter hibernation I will remain steadfast in feeding the fire within me. As I have said to my friends winter represents an ideal time to look within and explore grief. The darkness in the large world beyond our windows is a perfect milieu to encourage exploration of our deepest shadows within our own psyches.
As I continue my therapeutic journey I find myself able to articulate my experiences in my youth in countless slightly different variations. I realize part of my fundamental issue was quite simply my father's inability or unwillingness to be an explorer of those darker terrains. He could not acknowledge his own shadow and was thus something of a prisoner to it. And I felt held hostage with him. It makes perfect sense to me now that I felt as I did.
Fantastic. I look forward to reading more! -J B
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