Thursday, November 21, 2013
I have yet another appointment scheduled for next Monday designed to assist me in continuing to restore my health. There have been moments when I wonder if I am going a bit overboard and being virtually neurotic about taking care of my health. The antithesis of neglect is something I suppose you could call 'over-care'. I do indeed believe there is such a thing as being obsessive about your health. If every minor pain or irritation prompts a whirlwind of anxious and pessimistic thoughts you have to wonder if perhaps you have a streak of hypochondria. I do not believe that is true for me though.
Later today, after first composing some of the content for this posting, I forwarded a listing of all the head trauma I can recall experiencing to my primary care doctor. He quite promptly responded to my email with an offer to refer me to a local traumatic brain injury clinic. Feeling it wise to review this aspect of my health I asked for the referral. And now I am feeling quite anxious. I am doing my best to keep myself busy so I do not think too much about what I will experience next week. So I now have one appointment scheduled for cranial sacral therapy. And I am waiting to hear back from the local traumatic brain injury clinic after my file is reviewed.
It's a little unsettling when I think of how suddenly the incident of falling down the stairs returned to my conscious awareness. It leaves me a little perplexed and leads me to wonder if there are other incidents I mindlessly blew off that in actuality affected me more than I first felt they did. I am not expecting any sort of deep, dark, life changing news next week. But then again I was not expecting to be informed of a PTSD diagnosis in June. Surprises of that sort can have the effect of seriously deflating enthusiasm. But I will continue to march onwards and remain committed to the path of healing I am charting for myself. I simply have no idea where walking this path is going to lead me over the course of time. I feel like I am walking into a dark and unknown territory with only my own wits and the strength of my friends and family to support me.
I continue to regularly experience moments of feeling very much in my body and then other moments when I feel as if I am doing a bit of something that has the quality of disassociation. Every day I wake up is a new adventure! I cannot easily predict how I am going to feel, what I will experience, what 'new' people I am going to meet and where the path forward will lead me. This time is exciting, exhausting, exhilarating, scary, weird and surreal.
I have yet another appointment scheduled for next Monday designed to assist me in continuing to restore my health. There have been moments when I wonder if I am going a bit overboard and being virtually neurotic about taking care of my health. The antithesis of neglect is something I suppose you could call 'over-care'. I do indeed believe there is such a thing as being obsessive about your health. If every minor pain or irritation prompts a whirlwind of anxious and pessimistic thoughts you have to wonder if perhaps you have a streak of hypochondria. I do not believe that is true for me though.
Later today, after first composing some of the content for this posting, I forwarded a listing of all the head trauma I can recall experiencing to my primary care doctor. He quite promptly responded to my email with an offer to refer me to a local traumatic brain injury clinic. Feeling it wise to review this aspect of my health I asked for the referral. And now I am feeling quite anxious. I am doing my best to keep myself busy so I do not think too much about what I will experience next week. So I now have one appointment scheduled for cranial sacral therapy. And I am waiting to hear back from the local traumatic brain injury clinic after my file is reviewed.
It's a little unsettling when I think of how suddenly the incident of falling down the stairs returned to my conscious awareness. It leaves me a little perplexed and leads me to wonder if there are other incidents I mindlessly blew off that in actuality affected me more than I first felt they did. I am not expecting any sort of deep, dark, life changing news next week. But then again I was not expecting to be informed of a PTSD diagnosis in June. Surprises of that sort can have the effect of seriously deflating enthusiasm. But I will continue to march onwards and remain committed to the path of healing I am charting for myself. I simply have no idea where walking this path is going to lead me over the course of time. I feel like I am walking into a dark and unknown territory with only my own wits and the strength of my friends and family to support me.
I continue to regularly experience moments of feeling very much in my body and then other moments when I feel as if I am doing a bit of something that has the quality of disassociation. Every day I wake up is a new adventure! I cannot easily predict how I am going to feel, what I will experience, what 'new' people I am going to meet and where the path forward will lead me. This time is exciting, exhausting, exhilarating, scary, weird and surreal.
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