Friday, August 22, 2014
Sometimes I chuckle when I think back to the time when I first began writing my blog. I recall wondering if I could come up with anything (all that interesting) to write about on a daily basis. I admit there are still some days when I struggle to conceive of a topic to focus my attention upon. Nonetheless I find myself sufficiently inspired much of the time such that writing is only infrequently a real struggle.
I attended a class at the South Minneapolis Workforce Center focused on developing the knowledge and skills to start your own business. The presenter was Bob Voss. I was inspired by the depth of knowledge he appears to possess. And I only sat in his class for a little over an hour. Reaching out for support to manifest your dreams is so vital. And this holds true regardless of whether your current life is already full of many resources, friends and related blessings or deeply devoid of these things. Voss's comment about something termed Lone Wolf Syndrome got me to thinking about the vital puzzle piece that reaching out (aka networking) plays in the quality of our lives.
I have taken a number of aptitude and personality tests in my life. I have often tended to fall in the realm of introversion rather than extroversion. Though I have become more extroverted over time I attribute this more to the fact that I am emerging from the harm done to my way of viewing of the world (as a result of the early history of trauma I experienced) rather than necessarily a fundamental change in who I am. In my core I am more energetic, outgoing and zany than I often allowed myself to reveal to the world.
My experience of trauma left me literally altered in how I perceived the world. The powerful transformation I have undergone these last fourteen months (made possible in part by the application of therapeutic techniques such as EMDR) is testament to the reality of how deeply my experience of trauma had affected me. I have told my therapist more than once (as well as some friends) that I have felt as if I am awakening from a bad dream that went on for about thirty years.
Because I developed serious trust issues it became easier to shut down and hide within myself. This pattern of behavior can be misconstrued as an indication of an introverted personality. I do think I am technically an introvert but my introversion is counterbalanced by some serious fire energy in my astrology chart. (If you are just now following me in my blog it is relevant to know that astrology is one of my hobbies.) Anyone with some basic knowledge of astrology would expect someone with a Leo rising sign and Aries moon (as I have) to have serious potential to do well in more extroverted professions such as the performing arts.
It's my sentiment that deeply traumatized people might manifest behaviors that could prompt others to think of them as 'lone wolves'. When we are deeply hurt, disappointed or fearful it's only natural for us to feel a strong urge to withdraw. In some ways I think this urge is an instinctual one. It is a survival instinct. After being traumatized people may withdraw from many aspects of their lives in a way similar to what countless animals in a forest may do when a powerful storm threatens their habitat. During and immediately after the time of a trauma it is thus only natural that a person go into hiding.
It's when this adaptive pattern of hiding away becomes a permanent feature of a person's way of living that such behavior should become concerning to others.
If you are reading this and are undergoing a journey of healing from trauma I welcome you to ask yourself the following questions. Consider it an inventory of your current support system.
Even the most introverted of human beings are nonetheless social creatures. If you want to create a better life for yourself but do not know how to do so consider reaching out to a trusted friend for guidance. You may ultimately be surprised by how much is out there and available for you.
I will close my posting today by mentioning a bit about how I personally am doing:
I am excited to be going away for a weekend in Madison, Wisconsin. I'm looking forward to making new friends.
My sadness and grief are still very much with me. But they intermingle with a growing sense of excitement that the changes I made a year ago are changes I will remain committed to keeping in place. I do feel immensely sad that my family of origin can not or will not provide me the type of support I specifically need. It is not an easy choice when you choose to walk away from your own blood relatives. Maybe this will change one day. But maybe it won't. What is also clear to me is I must learn to move on and release the harm that impacted my earlier life.
I still marvel at the beauty of the world around me. The change in my eyesight which I attribute to the combination of therapies I underwent this last year is something I am still adjusting to. I wasn't really fully present to my life for so very long. Living in a fundamentally different way is not something you adjust to overnight.
And yet the dawn must inevitably come. Darkness will pass. Consider this clip from the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. We can overcome the darkness in our psyches. We can transmute our pain and create a new life for ourselves.
A new day will come!
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Sometimes I chuckle when I think back to the time when I first began writing my blog. I recall wondering if I could come up with anything (all that interesting) to write about on a daily basis. I admit there are still some days when I struggle to conceive of a topic to focus my attention upon. Nonetheless I find myself sufficiently inspired much of the time such that writing is only infrequently a real struggle.
I attended a class at the South Minneapolis Workforce Center focused on developing the knowledge and skills to start your own business. The presenter was Bob Voss. I was inspired by the depth of knowledge he appears to possess. And I only sat in his class for a little over an hour. Reaching out for support to manifest your dreams is so vital. And this holds true regardless of whether your current life is already full of many resources, friends and related blessings or deeply devoid of these things. Voss's comment about something termed Lone Wolf Syndrome got me to thinking about the vital puzzle piece that reaching out (aka networking) plays in the quality of our lives.
I have taken a number of aptitude and personality tests in my life. I have often tended to fall in the realm of introversion rather than extroversion. Though I have become more extroverted over time I attribute this more to the fact that I am emerging from the harm done to my way of viewing of the world (as a result of the early history of trauma I experienced) rather than necessarily a fundamental change in who I am. In my core I am more energetic, outgoing and zany than I often allowed myself to reveal to the world.
My experience of trauma left me literally altered in how I perceived the world. The powerful transformation I have undergone these last fourteen months (made possible in part by the application of therapeutic techniques such as EMDR) is testament to the reality of how deeply my experience of trauma had affected me. I have told my therapist more than once (as well as some friends) that I have felt as if I am awakening from a bad dream that went on for about thirty years.
Because I developed serious trust issues it became easier to shut down and hide within myself. This pattern of behavior can be misconstrued as an indication of an introverted personality. I do think I am technically an introvert but my introversion is counterbalanced by some serious fire energy in my astrology chart. (If you are just now following me in my blog it is relevant to know that astrology is one of my hobbies.) Anyone with some basic knowledge of astrology would expect someone with a Leo rising sign and Aries moon (as I have) to have serious potential to do well in more extroverted professions such as the performing arts.
It's my sentiment that deeply traumatized people might manifest behaviors that could prompt others to think of them as 'lone wolves'. When we are deeply hurt, disappointed or fearful it's only natural for us to feel a strong urge to withdraw. In some ways I think this urge is an instinctual one. It is a survival instinct. After being traumatized people may withdraw from many aspects of their lives in a way similar to what countless animals in a forest may do when a powerful storm threatens their habitat. During and immediately after the time of a trauma it is thus only natural that a person go into hiding.
It's when this adaptive pattern of hiding away becomes a permanent feature of a person's way of living that such behavior should become concerning to others.
If you are reading this and are undergoing a journey of healing from trauma I welcome you to ask yourself the following questions. Consider it an inventory of your current support system.
- Do you feel that you can ultimately resolve the challenges of your life if you find sufficient help? If not, why not?
- Do you feel lonely? If so are you aware of local resources that would help you to address this issue? You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that there are resources in your own community to help you deal with what may seem insoluble issues.
- How many friends do you have that know you so well that you feel you can share anything with them?
- Do you have current contact information for your local network of healthcare providers such as hospital ERs, primary care doctors and toll free crisis support services?
- If you are currently living through a period in which you have withdrawn from much of the world are you paying close attention to how that has changed your life? Has your life improved, remained the same or deteriorated?
Even the most introverted of human beings are nonetheless social creatures. If you want to create a better life for yourself but do not know how to do so consider reaching out to a trusted friend for guidance. You may ultimately be surprised by how much is out there and available for you.
I will close my posting today by mentioning a bit about how I personally am doing:
I am excited to be going away for a weekend in Madison, Wisconsin. I'm looking forward to making new friends.
My sadness and grief are still very much with me. But they intermingle with a growing sense of excitement that the changes I made a year ago are changes I will remain committed to keeping in place. I do feel immensely sad that my family of origin can not or will not provide me the type of support I specifically need. It is not an easy choice when you choose to walk away from your own blood relatives. Maybe this will change one day. But maybe it won't. What is also clear to me is I must learn to move on and release the harm that impacted my earlier life.
I still marvel at the beauty of the world around me. The change in my eyesight which I attribute to the combination of therapies I underwent this last year is something I am still adjusting to. I wasn't really fully present to my life for so very long. Living in a fundamentally different way is not something you adjust to overnight.
And yet the dawn must inevitably come. Darkness will pass. Consider this clip from the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. We can overcome the darkness in our psyches. We can transmute our pain and create a new life for ourselves.
A new day will come!
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!