Sunday, September 14, 2014
I just completed an hour long yoga class at the YMCA. I followed the class with seven laps in
the pool. I chose to do seven laps
because the number seven is a number associated with fortune. You can never sow too much good fortune
on the anniversary day of your birth!
I think it’s only natural that we think about our parents on
our birthdays. And I believe this
holds true regardless of the nature of the relationship we have with them. I have been thinking about my mother
who gave birth to me early on a Friday morning in Irving, Texas a little over
four decades ago. I have lived
such an interesting and eventful life so far. I have seen amazing and beautiful places from the shores of
the Hawaiian Islands to that part of Norway which lies north of the Arctic
Circle. I have seen amazing
storms, developed friendships with fascinating people and experienced the vast
panoply of human emotions.
I have experienced joy and hardship. Today I wish to recommit my life to focusing on the
positive, joyful, wondrous qualities of each and every day that l live. We can find magic in the world if our
eyes and hearts are truly open to experience it.
As I have undergone an amazing awakening, much of which can
be bookended by my birthday last year and my birthday today, I have found
myself repeatedly marveling at how much pain I was carrying around for much of
my life and how I was so dimly aware of this reality. I’ve exorcised much of it this past year.
Decades later I still miss my mother. I still carry the thoughts of wondering what she could have been if she hadn't become ill. I still wonder who I might have become if she had not become ill. Who might my father be now if his first marriage had not fallen apart? I realize I can only spend so long reflecting on these questions as to what could have been. Living in the past will not serve me now. Somehow I have to come to terms fully with what did and did not happen. I have done much of the work I needed to do since this time last year.
My grief still remains with me but its dark quality is
gradually changing. As I noted recently, the following phrase appeared in a hypnosis session with my therapist within the last month:
“The darkness is casting light”
Try decoding that one!
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!