Thursday, April 10, 2014

Pulling Teeth

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I have a dental appointment tomorrow.  I hope it goes well.  I've had some discomfort in my mouth lately; I sincerely hope I do not have any cavities but I believe I may very easily have one.  I tend to have good oral hygiene.  I just need to learn how to smile more.

I just completed the mandatory volunteer orientation session here at Abbott Northwestern Hospital.  It looks like I will be able to begin assisting on the research survey I was asked to assist with on behalf of the Penny George Institute for Health and Healing beginning the week of April 21st.  Perhaps doing still more volunteer work will lead me in a better professional direction.  However, I remain a bit dubious because I have done plenty of volunteer work earlier in my life.  I invested so much in my own personal and professional development and I still have not experienced the results I would like to have.  Maybe it's simply a matter of being patient and diligent.  If I don't realize the life I wish to have it will not be for lack of trying.

I have felt really spacey and detached today.  Maybe it's a direct result of the hypnosis work I did on Tuesday evening.  I'm not sure.  I dreamed again last night but unlike the previous night I was not able to snap out of my dream last night.  I would have preferred to wake up last night when I found myself in the dreamworld because my dream featured the theme of illness and contagion.  I've experienced nightmarish dreams at different times in my life dating back to my childhood.  I've never had such a horrible dream that I didn't want to go to sleep the following night but I have had some real terrifying dreams.  Perhaps being a bit prone to such painful dreaming is a natural result of being terrified at a tender age as my mother became seriously ill.  Again, I don't know.

Something else I have been noticing lately is that memories from times in my childhood and earlier adulthood sometimes come suddenly into my conscious awareness.  On occasion their appearance in my waking thoughts is so sudden as to be a bit disconcerting.  I am sometimes left feeling that my brain works quite differently now as compared to how it did before I embarked on therapy sessions that featured EMDR therapy.

Despite my recent flat feeling I nonetheless feel that my healing process is again moving forward.  But it feels a bit like a very long slog.  Warmer, brighter days are coming.  I have remained faithful to my many healthy habits and have experienced great results.  But there is still so much more I want to experience.  One day, I tell myself, these large dreams will come to fruition.  I keep striving to believe.

Five Things I Am Grateful For Today:

The color green
Generous people who volunteer their time
My dedication to a new career direction
Warm breezes

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!