Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Next Step

Thursday, May 7, 2015

I made it through another important phase of my journey of healing. I resisted any inclination to reach out to my father yesterday. Yesterday was the occasion of his birthday. Those who don't know me well might think I am being cruel. But I am actually being kind to myself. By cutting people out of my life who do not treat me with a certain modicum of kindness and respect I am making space in my life for people who will. I wish I felt there was another viable way to interact with my father but the long journey of my experience of him led me to believe I made a wise choice. I can still wish him well. I will simply do that from afar.

As more time accumulates between the time I ceased interacting with him and the life I am living in this present moment of today I find the old wounds of my childhood softening and fading away. My sadness is still with me. Yes, it is still with me even now after nearly two years of going to therapy. But as I have noted frequently in recent weeks and months my sadness is indeed gradually lifting. It is simply going to take some time for my sadness to more fully fade.

I went to the dentist for my six month check-up and cleaning this morning. I was encouraged to learn my teeth remain in good condition. All my diligent attentiveness to my health is beginning to pay off. Over a year has passed since I became completely caught up on the different aspects of my health I need to regularly attend to. Psychotherapy is now the only major ongoing health appointment I keep on a weekly basis...unless I count going to the gym.

With so much of the tough work of trauma resolution behind me the practice of going to therapy once a week feels comparatively light now. I still like my therapist and find his input to be exceedingly valuable. There simply are no more hard edged super upsetting elements of my early life history to work through. Now I am focused on the process of creating a workable and rewarding life. But that is certainly no small task either.

I have been applying to a variety of jobs lately. And most of those positions are outside the state of Minnesota. I simply am not finding that much opportunity for a person of my background.


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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!