Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Life Goes On

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Life goes on regardless of what we might lose.

It was my father's birthday today. Assuming he is still alive (and I have no reason to believe he is not) he turned seventy-three years old today. I didn't call him to acknowledge the day. I didn't send him a card. What I did manage to do was allow the day to come and go and give very little thought to his special day.

I have made a lot of progress. When his birthday came around last year I was still quite angry with him. I was angry about the abuse and neglect I experienced while I was a kid. I was angry due to his inability to be present to me in a consistently healthy way. Today, a year later, I just feel a lot of sadness. Last year there I had all this sadness and anger inside me. This year I have only the sadness to contend with. I call that progress.

The air outside is very still. It's a calm and pleasant night. I need that calmness inside me.

Life will go on. The sun will rise tomorrow and I expect I will have another chance to make my life something like what I want it to be.

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