Sunday, December 7, 2014
This next week promises to be an important week.
I have lately felt myself to be wearing out from my all the efforts I am making to improve my life. I am not seeing the results I want to experience. So I guess one of two issues are at play. Or perhaps there are two issues to deal with. I am either being impatient or I am going about the process of changing my life in a way that could stand some improvement in my strategy. Or perhaps both are true.
I find myself growing weary of the grief I feel due to my estrangement from my family. I suppose a more mature perspective is starting to replace the perspective I had held for such a long time. I am starting to notice how my attitude about my disappointment is changing. I realize there are many, many people out there with whom I can potentially create rewarding personal and professional relationships. It's not as if my family of origin are the only people in the world. I can choose to move on. I can choose to reach out to other people and create a family of my own. And it's important that I remind myself that I have done this before. I know how to do this! I already have the skill necessary to create healthy relationships. I just need to improve upon my existing ability to cultivate relationships.
I have learned a lot about the virtue of patience these last eighteen months. Patience is definitely a personal quality I needed to develop more of. And I have. Now I find myself doing that sometimes delicate dance between patience and expectations. When have I worked hard enough and been patient enough such that my expectation of results is completely reasonable? I feel I have reached that point.
So where are the results?
I have been engaged in a job search process for nine months now. I left the workforce for a period of approximately nine months. I have since been working for a period of equal length. So now I find myself reaching a significant milestone in my process of recovery. That time when I was living outside of the active workforce is now receding quickly into the deep past. It no longer feels strange to actually work. It would feel strange if I was not working. It's obvious I have come a long way from where I was six, nine and twelve months ago.
I can't seem to find open doors of substantive opportunity. I have people helping me with my search process. But I haven't had any good results yet. When will the results I want finally manifest?
This next week promises to be an important week.
I have lately felt myself to be wearing out from my all the efforts I am making to improve my life. I am not seeing the results I want to experience. So I guess one of two issues are at play. Or perhaps there are two issues to deal with. I am either being impatient or I am going about the process of changing my life in a way that could stand some improvement in my strategy. Or perhaps both are true.
I find myself growing weary of the grief I feel due to my estrangement from my family. I suppose a more mature perspective is starting to replace the perspective I had held for such a long time. I am starting to notice how my attitude about my disappointment is changing. I realize there are many, many people out there with whom I can potentially create rewarding personal and professional relationships. It's not as if my family of origin are the only people in the world. I can choose to move on. I can choose to reach out to other people and create a family of my own. And it's important that I remind myself that I have done this before. I know how to do this! I already have the skill necessary to create healthy relationships. I just need to improve upon my existing ability to cultivate relationships.
I have learned a lot about the virtue of patience these last eighteen months. Patience is definitely a personal quality I needed to develop more of. And I have. Now I find myself doing that sometimes delicate dance between patience and expectations. When have I worked hard enough and been patient enough such that my expectation of results is completely reasonable? I feel I have reached that point.
So where are the results?
I have been engaged in a job search process for nine months now. I left the workforce for a period of approximately nine months. I have since been working for a period of equal length. So now I find myself reaching a significant milestone in my process of recovery. That time when I was living outside of the active workforce is now receding quickly into the deep past. It no longer feels strange to actually work. It would feel strange if I was not working. It's obvious I have come a long way from where I was six, nine and twelve months ago.
I can't seem to find open doors of substantive opportunity. I have people helping me with my search process. But I haven't had any good results yet. When will the results I want finally manifest?
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