Wednesday, June 10, 2015

An Ability To Take A Long View

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

One extremely difficult challenge some people may face in the journey of healing from trauma is successfully cultivating at attitude that 'this too shall pass'. In other words the virtue of patience is indeed quite...virtuous. To live a healthy life can feel like a profoundly overwhelming challenge if you are not familiar with the landscape of healthy living. Just as arriving on the shores of an unknown land can feel profoundly disorienting so too can embarking on a new way of life that is unfamiliar to your experience.

Putting a band-aid on a wound is something most anyone can do. Digging deep into ourselves to really change our fundamental worldview and way of living is something much more immense. Two years of sequential therapy has taught me the value of immense patience. I use the word sequential because some things tend to naturally build momentum if you commit to them. When diligently followed over a long period of time an exercise regimen can bring you immense rewards. Therapy can work in a similar way. The gift of an objective witness to the joy and pain of my life has been a wonderful gift to give myself.

This evening while preparing dinner I experienced a moment in which I once again felt an overpowering wave of sadness. And mixed up within the sadness was a less familiar feeling. I also had a feeling of guilt. So I decided to look up the term 'survivor guilt'. I didn't do any extensive research on the subject this evening. I will save that for another time. These waves of sadness wash over me every so often. I made a very healthy dinner for myself tonight. Sometimes I feel sad when, in the present moment of enjoying the kindness I give to myself in the form of healthy food, I recall all those past moments in my life when I did not extend such thoughtfulness to myself. I was quite unkind to myself for a very long time. I was often kinder to others than I ever was to myself. Correcting this imbalance has been quite a process.

Today was another wonderful summer day. I am grateful for the clear vision I now enjoy which allows me to enjoy the world around me.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!