Tuesday July 9, 2013
I just arrived home from an appointment in which I had a stress echocardiogram. I am pleased to be able to tell my family and friends that my heart muscle is in good physical condition. I say "heart muscle" because on a metaphysical level I realize a major problem I have had for some time is that there has not been as much love in my life as I want. For too long I have been stuck at the survival level of love. I have been getting by. I am now determined to welcome in a prosperous life.
I feel profoundly different since my appointment with my therapist yesterday. I feel lighter, cleaner, more alert, more optimistic, more relaxed and more present. I notice that my mind is not overly active. Indeed, my mind feels uncharacteristically quiet. Perhaps when a person does the work necessary to heal from PTSD the mind develops a greater capacity for slow and relaxed thought over time. I suppose I will find out as I continue on my journey of healing.
On a different note I have had two different people notice and compliment me on my raven tattoo on my left shoulder. This image has a very special significance to me; the tattoo memorializes an experience I had in October, 2004 in the Netherlands. On the very first night I slept in the village from whence my paternal great-grandfather and his father came in 1872 I had a most profound dream. When I awoke the next morning I felt I had journeyed beyond this ordinary world and experienced something of the reality of death. In describing this to friends and family I speak of it as a near-death experience.
I share this significant anecdote of my life to "come out" as a mystic in the forum I have wished to create in this blog. Those who know me well and those who don't know me at all will likely be able to see the mark of the mystic in me. I have always had a mystic's appreciation for the beauty of nature.
Soon I will share more...