Friday July 26, 2013
One of the most difficult aspects of healing from my diagnosis of PTSD is the challenge of creating sufficient stability in my life to nurture my healing process. As I have already noted in previous posts a person can develop PTSD in response to a variety of events. My particular case of PTSD is due largely to childhood trauma that itself was a result of dysfunction within my family of origin. I did not have the best models of stability during my earliest years of life. This lack of healthy modeling still seems to affect me to some degree many years later. I suppose one hallmark indicator of when my therapeutic process is complete will be an enhanced capacity to create a stable life for myself.
And yet it would be ridiculous to believe that the broader milieu in which I live doesn't exert some degree of influence upon my efforts to create a stable life. As I have also noted in a previous post everything in the world is interconnected. And I have to say I cannot remember ever feeling so disenchanted with the state of affairs here in the United States of America. How can I and the millions of Americans who have PTSD heal properly when our very nation is beset by the host of issues it is consumed by now? I don't know about you but it seems to me that job security here in this country is now a thing of the past. I remember reading an article recently focused on the rise of temporary labor here in the United States. It certainly suits the needs of diverse companies to hire temporary employees when they don't want to invest in their employees long term. And yet when you fail to invest in the people you employ why should they show any loyalty in return? Corporate greed, economic efficiency and other factors have synergistically worked together to send jobs overseas. And in the process American prosperity is now a luxury of the wealthy. Our nation has not been so economically polarized in generations.
It seems to me that it is in my best interests to leave this nation in the not too distant future. I'd like to find work in Germany where I traveled earlier this year. Yes indeed I am all too familiar with the Euro crisis and the suffering economies in the south of Europe. Many parts of the world are suffering immensely now and have been for several years. But some of those European economies (like Germany and France) at least have one thing right according to my way of thinking. There they have something more of a social conscience. A larger portion of the population actually sees it as problematic and even immoral when their fellow citizens die in the streets due to lack of healthcare or exorbitant costs that force people to use emergency rooms as their primary care.
I still vividly recall feeling absolutely appalled when I witnessed some of the thinking from the right wing in this country regarding healthcare as exposed in the last few years as the American healthcare system came into focus due to President Obama's efforts to reform the system. I found it utterly revolting when I realized how certain people on the right fringe find it perfectly ethical and reasonable to consign their fellow citizens to the streets and sewers when they are suffering serious health problems. A citizenry that willfully and even gleefully allows its poorest and most vulnerable to suffer horribly and die due to their inability to afford healthcare is a citizenry I do not feel proud to count myself a member of. How can you create stability when your neighbor is all too happy to disown you? And what is all the more revolting is that these hard hearts beat within people who profess themselves to be Christians!
Learning to be disciplined and create a stable life can be challenging under the best of conditions. We have not had stable conditions here in the United States for several years. Instead we have a Congress with some of the lowest approval ratings in history. We have Republicans in the House of Representatives so determined to make President Obama look bad that they will willfully obstruct any and all legislation that is remotely decent and progressive. These so called representatives of the people are willing to undermine the security of millions of American citizens because they are hell bent on securing only the interests of those they care about. They are happy to leave the rest of us jobless, homeless and eventually hopeless. How we reached this precipice is indeed a sad tale. Such long term insecurity leaves me scratching my head wondering how we reached this sad impasse.
Please do not misunderstand my perspective. I am no great fan of the Democrats either. It is my opinion that there is plenty of blame to go around if you want to be childish and play the blame game. It galls me that so many of our so called elected representatives act like a bunch of spoiled five year olds who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter. It's sad, pathetic and deeply troubling. How we as a nation can find our way back from the brink is a mysterious question. I love my country even now but I have little confidence we as a nation will turn back from the brink until we are already collectively going off the cliff. Perhaps my PTSD is partially to blame for my less than optimistic view. I cannot be entirely sure at this point.
I would like to see compromise reenter the lexicon as an important principle of conduct. Right now the very idea is anathema to so many. It is my deeply held conviction that we as a species are going to fare very poorly in this century if we do not spiritually evolve. Greed, hatred, ignorance and apathy still hold such power in the human heart and mind. It's time we all grow up. And our Congress is a shining example of why we need to grow up. Gridlock is no way to run a nation.
I want to heal my PTSD and move forward with my life. I am sadly not convinced that living in the United States is the best place to do it. I pray for the strength to make the journey forward. I empathize with the millions of Americans who are currently suffering through circumstances as challenging as mine. We all deserve better. We need more open hearts, more integrity, more generosity, more kindness. We need more love in the world!