Saturday, July 30, 2016
“Our addiction was like a veil over our heads. We saw the world as an ugly place. We saw people as trouble. We thought our drinks and drugs were beautiful. But even they became ugly over time. Life became ugly because we had put distance between our Higher Power and ourselves.
Now we are blessed because the veil is lifted, and we are part of the healing process. We help others step into the beauty of recovery.
Our spirits are again free to seek a relationship with God and others. Through these relationships, we get our hope back. This hope helps us focus on the beauty of the world. Hope is the rain that helps our soul grow.”
~ July 30th entry from Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve-Step Beginnings & Renewal
I feel fortunate to be a person who never dealt with my early life history of trauma by turning to the numbing power of excess use of drugs and alcohol. I can’t imagine (and don’t want to imagine) what my life would be like today if I had taken a journey down that road. And yet despite my fortune of not taking a turn down that particular path the above words taken from a beautiful little recovery guidebook spoke volumes to me this morning.
Prior to undergoing EMDR therapy I was unknowingly walking around with a veil over my own eyes. I saw the world through a cloud of unhealed grief. I often saw people as irresponsible, overly complicated and peculiar at best and scary, dysfunctional, untrustworthy and dangerous at worst. It took a tremendous amount of work for me to remove this distorting filter and actually see the world as it actually is.
With the veil of grief removed I now am free to seek healthy relationships with other human beings as well as whatever Higher Power exists in the Cosmos. EMDR therapy was the catalyst that led to my personal liberation. I will always feel grateful and fortunate that I found such deep healing.
When I woke this morning I felt profoundly different. The world is different too! This is true every morning. The world is always changing. A dear friend passed away yesterday. The world feels a bit more empty with him gone. But I have beautiful memories of him to hold in my heart. I cherish the time that I was able to know him.
I feel ready for a new beginning now. I need a new beginning. And I know a new beginning is on its way to me. I feel it rushing towards me like an immense wave.
Enjoy your Saturday!