Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Le Sigh

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I arrived in Minnesota about three years ago today. I actually tried to find the exact date I arrived so I could reference it when I met with my therapist this evening. That doesn't much matter. What is significant is that certain milestone moments are coming and going. And they are passing without incident.

I went away for a brief overnight trip with my good friend Keith this past Sunday. We traveled to the arrowhead of Minnesota. We drove through Duluth and then paralleled the North Shore of Lake Superior until we reached Grand Marais. Upon reaching Grand Marais (which was smaller in population than I had anticipated) we traveled north away from the Lake until we reached the bed and breakfast we spent Sunday night at. It was a lovely trip and exactly what I needed.

Yesterday morning, while going for a walk in the woods adjacent to our accommodation, I found myself appreciating the sound...of silence. It was nice to be almost under-stimulated by sound. I find the visual world to be an amazing source of stimulation over two years after I first tried out EMDR therapy. I reported to my therapist tonight that my fascination with what I can perceive with my eyes remains as strong as ever. Indeed, my fascination might even be growing. There are some days when it feels a bit surreal to be me. I never thought my own personal Pandora's Box would contain so many wonders when it opened in the summer of 2013.

Today was a bit jarring. It was my first day of my new workweek. I ate fast food for lunch because I wasn't in the mood to think about taking my own lunch to work when I arrived home last night. The music streaming from the speakers overhead was grating to my nerves. All the music seemed to have been created at least ten years ago. There is so much about mainland life here in the United States that I find boring or depressing. I see such suffering around me in the faces of so many people. It does indeed sometimes seem to me that we are becoming a third world nation.

I am making efforts each day to improve my own life. I am beginning to more actively reach out in search of my next job opportunity once my current role ends next August.

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