Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Night Before September 11th

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Today was a full day of work. After working my primary job I helped a friend with some yardwork in the evening. The days are obviously growing shorter now; I could hardly see what I was doing by 7:45 pm. Yes, autumn is coming. And tonight the air will have a genuine slight nip to it. The inevitable changing of the seasons is here yet again.

While working with my friend Jamie we briefly spoke about what we were doing on the day of September 11, 2001. It seems a bit surreal that fourteen years have passed since that day. I didn't lose anyone I was personally close to that day. But America lost a lot that day. We lost thousands of American lives. And, in my opinion, that day marked the beginning of another significant but longer term loss. The George W. Bush administration used the events of that sad day to manipulate the nation into entering a tragically shortsighted war of choice against Iraq. Here we are fourteen years later and we are still cleaning up the mess left behind by two consecutive administrations of George W. Bush. That that man became president truly proves most anyone can become president in this country.

My purpose in writing my entry tonight is not to invite my dear readers to relive that horrible day. Instead I am using that day as something of a foil to encourage reflection on trauma and healing. I feel fortunate to be alive and be enjoying a life as decent as I have. I still feel some sadness regarding how long I carried around my own unhealed trauma. But thankfully my new life is consuming my attention now. I don't really have much time to spare to ruminate on the past.

And yet I can tell how different life is for me now. Since beginning to drive again last week I have noticed that the experience of driving is itself a very different experience for me now. I suppose it is correct to say that even my whole previous driving history is something that I accumulated with a pair of eyes that did not perceive the world as clearly as they do now. I sometimes still get caught in awe when I pause and ponder how long I had been walking around with "trauma on the brain". Thirty years is a long time to carry such a burden.

Anyhow, it's time for something lighter. My birthday is in four short days. I want this to be a happy time for me. And it is. I haven't felt this good in decades.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!