Monday, September 7, 2015


Monday, September 7, 2015

Today was a special day. And I don't declare it to be special because it was Labor Day. That made the day special as well. Today was significant because I finally opened a box of possessions that had been in storage on the West Coast for over three years. My personal effects were returned to me earlier this year. But not until today did I actually open the box containing my belongings. And as I opened the box and elements from my life several years ago spilled out my memories corresponding to these many materials also came spilling out of my mind.

Revisiting possessions that we once held dear years ago can be something of a revelation. We can find ourselves wondering what is was about certain items that we found so endearing. As we live our lives our values are apt to change. And as our values change it's inevitable that what we count as our 'stuff' will also change.

I suppose the most interesting moment in my perusal of my belongings came when I found a necklace I made years ago. The necklace features a sun symbol as its centerpiece. I created the necklace from beads. I believe I must have gone to some business in California that featured "make it yourself" necklaces. I do vividly remember I had made the necklace to give to a partner I imagined having one day in the future. That imagined partner has not yet materialized. And I think the necklace is at least five years old now. I decided not to waste my past efforts by leaving the necklace sitting in its little box. Tomorrow I am going to start wearing it whenever I choose. I am learning more and more how to be good to myself.

An interesting thing happened when I put the necklace on this afternoon. I accidentally put it on backwards; the sun symbol was facing in towards my chest rather than out towards the world. I began to fumble to take it off and correct the "error". But then I paused. I thought about how the metaphor of the sun shining in towards my chest was an apt, though unintended, "mistake". For too much of my life I have made the error of giving more to others than I have to myself. Living such an imbalanced life over a life period of time is a good prescription for the harm that often comes from such protracted imbalance, namely illness and burn-out. So I walked around at home with the sun symbol facing my chest. Thankfully I am much better at taking care of myself than I was five years ago.

Much better.

Sometimes we need to remember the past in a new or different way to be able to successfully integrate what we have experienced and, perhaps seemingly ironically, then let go of the past. Exploring my own early life history has been much of the focus of my healing "odyssey" these last two years. This focus gave my blog it's distinctive "flavor" over the course of many months.

It's a measure of how fragmented and uneasy my life was for so long that it actually feels a bit strange to have "all of me" in one physical space. My earthly possessions are finally now all here with me in the state of Minnesota. I have left little pieces of my heart in places throughout the world I have found powerful and amazing. Some of these places include Germany, Norway, Hawaii and South Dakota.

To re-member the fullness of the course your own life has taken can be an amazing yet arduous thing. I feel grateful to feel re-membered in mind, body and spirit. When I consider the many influences that have shaped who I am today it's quite clear that I have indeed been a world traveler.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!