Friday, April 10, 2015
I am finding myself beginning to believe in the beauty of the world again. I am smiling a lot more. My sadness no longer feels overwhelming. My sadness is definitely still inside me but I am finding a way to live with it; I trust it will gradually decline as time passes.
I began a new daily activity at the beginning of April that I find quite helpful. Each day, at some point in the day, I write down what I am grateful for. I then fold up the sheet of paper and stuff it inside a small flower vase. The vase has some significance in my personal history. I found it in November, 2013 at a bus stop in Minneapolis. When I found it the vase was full of beautiful white flowers. I found it the day after I competed in the Mister Minneapolis Eagle competition. I took my discovery of this nice surprise as an indicator that I was on the right path in my own life.
Before I began stuffing this vase with my sheets of gratitude I placed a piece of jewelry inside it. I imagined putting all my sadness into this piece of jewelry. Now, as I gradually fill my 'gratitude vase', I can use this activity to focus on what is good in my life rather than focus so much on my sadness. As I noted above the sadness inside my heart may never completely disappear. But I can live anyhow. I can find and create joy nonetheless. I can create a rewarding life despite whatever happened in the past.
Another recent wonderful development in my life is my growing love of cooking. I have never thought of myself as a talented cook. Perhaps this sense of myself was a bit incorrect. I find myself able to unleash my creativity in food preparation in a way I don't recall finding such pleasure in previously. My fascination with the world I can perceive with my five senses is certainly stoking my interest in cooking. I love the diverse colors, the savory scents and the textures of so many different foods. It seems my sense of taste is also stronger now.
We had a burst of snow pass through this morning. It lasted less than an hour. I suppose that is what April is often like here. Winter shows up for brief moments over the span of hours or maybe a day or two but then fades away. Spring here often seems to creep into being in a very incremental way. But it is coming. Green buds are showing up everywhere. You just have to know where to look!
Joy is such a gift!
I am finding myself beginning to believe in the beauty of the world again. I am smiling a lot more. My sadness no longer feels overwhelming. My sadness is definitely still inside me but I am finding a way to live with it; I trust it will gradually decline as time passes.
I began a new daily activity at the beginning of April that I find quite helpful. Each day, at some point in the day, I write down what I am grateful for. I then fold up the sheet of paper and stuff it inside a small flower vase. The vase has some significance in my personal history. I found it in November, 2013 at a bus stop in Minneapolis. When I found it the vase was full of beautiful white flowers. I found it the day after I competed in the Mister Minneapolis Eagle competition. I took my discovery of this nice surprise as an indicator that I was on the right path in my own life.
Before I began stuffing this vase with my sheets of gratitude I placed a piece of jewelry inside it. I imagined putting all my sadness into this piece of jewelry. Now, as I gradually fill my 'gratitude vase', I can use this activity to focus on what is good in my life rather than focus so much on my sadness. As I noted above the sadness inside my heart may never completely disappear. But I can live anyhow. I can find and create joy nonetheless. I can create a rewarding life despite whatever happened in the past.
Another recent wonderful development in my life is my growing love of cooking. I have never thought of myself as a talented cook. Perhaps this sense of myself was a bit incorrect. I find myself able to unleash my creativity in food preparation in a way I don't recall finding such pleasure in previously. My fascination with the world I can perceive with my five senses is certainly stoking my interest in cooking. I love the diverse colors, the savory scents and the textures of so many different foods. It seems my sense of taste is also stronger now.
We had a burst of snow pass through this morning. It lasted less than an hour. I suppose that is what April is often like here. Winter shows up for brief moments over the span of hours or maybe a day or two but then fades away. Spring here often seems to creep into being in a very incremental way. But it is coming. Green buds are showing up everywhere. You just have to know where to look!
Joy is such a gift!
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