Tuesday, December 29, 2015

When The Fog Clears

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

There is a sharpness about my life that was lacking for so long. Clarity is my companion at unexpected moments. I could feel this truth within the fiber of my being as I drove home tonight.

I finally feel as if I will soon be moving beyond a certain plateau I have felt stuck at the last several months. My grief, though nothing like it was in 2013, continues to occupy a portion of my heart and mind. But it is finally and consistently beginning to feel manageable.

There are still days when I wonder what my life could have been if only I had found powerful treatment for my unsuccessfully (fully) treated case of PTSD many years ago. What person could I have become had such a powerful intervention into the course of my life occurred years before it actually did?

I might have stayed in Monterey, California upon completing my graduate studies there.

I might never have traveled to Portland, Oregon where I spent a year of my life and accomplished what I now feel in hindsight was relatively little and quite insignificant to my career evolution.

But then again different circumstances in 2012 might have steered me away from ultimately applying to the McCloy Fellowship Program offered by the American Council on Germany.

There are so many directions my life could have gone. Now I finally feel interested in steering my life in a consistent way and in a singular direction.

I feel good about what I can create in 2016.

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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!