Sunday, December 1, 2013
Somehow I woke up this morning and the calendar now reads December. How did that happen? Today is an important day in the annual calendar that is used to mark a planetary scale burden that has proven to be a source of trauma to millions of people. Today is the day known as World AIDS Day. I am fortunate to be HIV negative and to have lost only a few friends to AIDS. I do have some friends, however, who have lost dozens of friends to AIDS. Being one of a few survivors from a whole generation of gay men who died of AIDS tends to create its own form of trauma. Many of us walk around each day with some significant baggage.
Last night I went out and enjoyed myself dancing. And yet again I had more than one moment when I noticed how very present I was in my body. I suppose one day the unfamiliar will begin to feel familiar. As for now it is still often a very novel experience for me to feel and be completely present in the present moment. Prior to going out I went to the gym and again did some shoulder strengthening work. I also 'de-stressed' by sitting in the dry sauna. It's beginning to feel quite natural to pursue a regular gym regimen. I have been a physically active person throughout my life. I intend to be such a person from now on.
Though I am entering the holiday season with some significant challenges I can definitively say I am much better off than I was last year at this time. I am proactively seeking out treatment, using a light therapy box, taking a vitamin D prescription and generally doing everything in my power to take good care of myself. The benefits of my commitment to care for my health in the multiple daily ways I do will continue to pay off more in the longer term but I certainly am feeling the impact now as well. Recovery is often never something that follows along a straight line. Nevertheless my trend line is upward.
This coming week is going to prove an important one as I seek closure on my membership in an organization whose internal politics and general membership proved one of the greatest disappointments in my life. I am going to need to take time to carefully and thoughtfully prepare myself for what I will face.
Somehow I woke up this morning and the calendar now reads December. How did that happen? Today is an important day in the annual calendar that is used to mark a planetary scale burden that has proven to be a source of trauma to millions of people. Today is the day known as World AIDS Day. I am fortunate to be HIV negative and to have lost only a few friends to AIDS. I do have some friends, however, who have lost dozens of friends to AIDS. Being one of a few survivors from a whole generation of gay men who died of AIDS tends to create its own form of trauma. Many of us walk around each day with some significant baggage.
Last night I went out and enjoyed myself dancing. And yet again I had more than one moment when I noticed how very present I was in my body. I suppose one day the unfamiliar will begin to feel familiar. As for now it is still often a very novel experience for me to feel and be completely present in the present moment. Prior to going out I went to the gym and again did some shoulder strengthening work. I also 'de-stressed' by sitting in the dry sauna. It's beginning to feel quite natural to pursue a regular gym regimen. I have been a physically active person throughout my life. I intend to be such a person from now on.
Though I am entering the holiday season with some significant challenges I can definitively say I am much better off than I was last year at this time. I am proactively seeking out treatment, using a light therapy box, taking a vitamin D prescription and generally doing everything in my power to take good care of myself. The benefits of my commitment to care for my health in the multiple daily ways I do will continue to pay off more in the longer term but I certainly am feeling the impact now as well. Recovery is often never something that follows along a straight line. Nevertheless my trend line is upward.
This coming week is going to prove an important one as I seek closure on my membership in an organization whose internal politics and general membership proved one of the greatest disappointments in my life. I am going to need to take time to carefully and thoughtfully prepare myself for what I will face.
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