Monday, December 9, 2013
The other night I was standing outside waiting for the bus and found myself marveling at my life. I looked up into the cloudy, frigid sky and gazed with wonder at the thousands upon thousands of small ice crystals falling upon the snow covered earth. I kept imagining some mirror the size of a small planet had shattered in the heavens above; the ice crystals looked like myriad fragments of the mirror as they fluttered down to meet the earth below my feet.
It still feels weird to be fully in my body. I wonder when this feeling will end. I shared that question (among many) with my therapist today. And it's quite obvious my health is steadily improving; my therapist agreed with my self-assessment. Another experience this morning reminded me of how unusual it feels to be me right now. While walking downtown I found myself unwisely exposing my hands to the cold despite the fact I had mittens. I eventually managed to slip them on but not before feeling my right hand grow so cold that I wondered if I could somehow suffer frostbite in under a minute. Thankfully my hand warmed up and now it feels fine. I found myself wondering just how much of the pain I felt in my hand was due to the cold and how much it was a result of really being in my body. It felt a bit...weird. Am I being an overanalyzing Virgo and talking too much about sensation in my body? Perhaps.
My therapist also provided me some good input regarding my question about what I can wisely be open to these days in regards to relationships. He basically recommended me to continue to make my own recovery process my primary focus in my life. I shouldn't allow anyone or anything to derail the process by being unclear or weak with my boundaries. I certainly agree with his thoughts. I continue to become stronger, clearer and happier each day. I need to continue to make that my focus.
...
Dusk has fallen now. It's shortly after 5 p.m. I am doing my best to relax. I have been fighting off what seems to be a cold for several days. I keep telling myself I am not going to get physically sick but perhaps I technically already am. I feel it best to spend the evening relaxing as I spent much of the day picking up my belongings.
Among other feelings I feel very happy that I am making good progress towards my goal of personal wholeness. I have an important appointment tomorrow morning in which I will learn the results of the psychological testing I completed last Tuesday at Abbott Northwestern Hospital. I expect it will be a good appointment with a positive outcome.
The other night I was standing outside waiting for the bus and found myself marveling at my life. I looked up into the cloudy, frigid sky and gazed with wonder at the thousands upon thousands of small ice crystals falling upon the snow covered earth. I kept imagining some mirror the size of a small planet had shattered in the heavens above; the ice crystals looked like myriad fragments of the mirror as they fluttered down to meet the earth below my feet.
It still feels weird to be fully in my body. I wonder when this feeling will end. I shared that question (among many) with my therapist today. And it's quite obvious my health is steadily improving; my therapist agreed with my self-assessment. Another experience this morning reminded me of how unusual it feels to be me right now. While walking downtown I found myself unwisely exposing my hands to the cold despite the fact I had mittens. I eventually managed to slip them on but not before feeling my right hand grow so cold that I wondered if I could somehow suffer frostbite in under a minute. Thankfully my hand warmed up and now it feels fine. I found myself wondering just how much of the pain I felt in my hand was due to the cold and how much it was a result of really being in my body. It felt a bit...weird. Am I being an overanalyzing Virgo and talking too much about sensation in my body? Perhaps.
My therapist also provided me some good input regarding my question about what I can wisely be open to these days in regards to relationships. He basically recommended me to continue to make my own recovery process my primary focus in my life. I shouldn't allow anyone or anything to derail the process by being unclear or weak with my boundaries. I certainly agree with his thoughts. I continue to become stronger, clearer and happier each day. I need to continue to make that my focus.
...
Dusk has fallen now. It's shortly after 5 p.m. I am doing my best to relax. I have been fighting off what seems to be a cold for several days. I keep telling myself I am not going to get physically sick but perhaps I technically already am. I feel it best to spend the evening relaxing as I spent much of the day picking up my belongings.
Among other feelings I feel very happy that I am making good progress towards my goal of personal wholeness. I have an important appointment tomorrow morning in which I will learn the results of the psychological testing I completed last Tuesday at Abbott Northwestern Hospital. I expect it will be a good appointment with a positive outcome.
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