A Lighter Feeling

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

I am feeling a lot better today.  I think my decision to consciously carve out more time for sleep and meditation as well as the resources I am finding in the morning program I began this past Monday are contributing to my improved mood. 

I am even feeling more optimistic about my future.  I had a productive interview today which will allow me to get my foot in the door with a respected local company.  Perhaps it will lead to something a bit greater in the near future.  Whatever happens my sense of optimism about the possibilities of my future has received a much-needed infusion of energy.

I felt amused and encouraged when I noticed my smile in the rearview mirror of my friend’s car after my interview had ended.  I am able to smile more easily than I have in quite a while.  And this is true despite the fact that the temperature outside is approximately 0F.  The days are growing significantly longer but winter is holding Minnesota firmly in its grasp.  And yet in this moment I find myself easily consoling myself with the knowledge that spring will inevitably come, the days will inevitably warm up, the ice and snow will melt and the color green will once again proliferate beyond my windows.  In other words this present situation will pass away and be replaced by something new and different.

It may seem a bit premature for me to state what I will now share but I will do so anyhow.  I feel as if the completion of my healing process is inevitable.  I believe I truly can eventually create the life I have long dreamed of having.  I need to allow myself to continue to be present to what I am feeling.  I have been on this journey of healing for what has many times felt like a very long time.  At first I found it very difficult to be present to my feelings on a consistent basis.  But all the changes I have made in my life have contributed to my growing ability to be truly present in each moment of my life.  I am still learning how to be consistently present to my feelings.  I haven’t given up on my own process.  And I am not going to give up now.

I sense I am truly turning a major corner in my life.