Monday, October 13, 2014
A few
months ago I consulted with a psychologist based here in Minneapolis. I did so because I wanted to seek out a
second opinion regarding the status of my mental health. Though I work with
a capable and kind therapist I thought it would be wise to obtain the
perspective of another person.
In the
short time I met with Dr. Valtinson I was introduced to the term ‘Complex
PTSD’. To learn more about this
proposed diagnostic term you can search for other daily pieces I have written
in my blog by using that term in the search bar. To read a brief survey of the history of PTSD please visit this link. You can find the following potential indicators
associated with Complex PTSD (which are noted below) at this link.
COMPLEX PTSD
COMPLEX PTSD
- Emotional Regulation. May include persistent sadness, suicidal thoughts, explosive anger, or inhibited anger.
- Consciousness. Includes forgetting traumatic events, reliving traumatic events, or having episodes in which one feels detached from one's mental processes or body (dissociation).
- Self-Perception. May include helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings.
- Distorted Perceptions of the Perpetrator. Examples include attributing total power to the perpetrator, becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, or preoccupied with revenge.
- Relations with Others. Examples include isolation, distrust, or a repeated search for a rescuer.
- One's System of Meanings. May include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.
Last week I indicated I would write a series of six
sequential posts focused on each of the six issues noted above. Today I will begin with the first of
the list: Emotional Regulation.
Deep and enduring sadness or anger can indeed be an
indication that something is profoundly troubling a person. Earlier this year I experienced a long stretch
of time in which I was especially aware of feeling consistently sad. My sadness was so persistent that I
made note of it in a separate document in which I keep regular notes about my
health. There were days when my
sadness felt so deeply entrenched that I nearly felt myself despairing that the
sadness would eventually lift.
Has my sadness improved since the summer? Yes. Is it completely gone? No it is not. But healing takes time as I have come to accept more and
more. I honestly do not think I
could be healing much more quickly than I have been these last fifteen
months. I have waged a virtual
‘campaign’ to address what had too long gone unaddressed.
I also still feel angry on occasion. But there is a major difference between
how I feel now and how I felt over twelve months ago. The anger I experienced last year was a result of the white
hot disappointment and outrage I felt when relatives within my paternal family
of origin again did what they do so well, namely avoid my questions and claim
ignorance as to what could or should be done. When I feel angry now it is almost always a passing
experience. I am likely to feel
angry only if I find myself ruminating on the old wounding experiences of my
childhood. And thankfully I am
beginning to truly move beyond this very unhealthy habit.
As unpleasant as being angry can be and as destructive as it
can prove to be in social and other settings it is nonetheless imperative that
we find a way to befriend whatever anger we have inside us. Though expressing anger can lead to
destructive and even irreversible consequences anger itself is not something I
believe should be unduly or overly pathologized. For example, anger is a natural and healthy response to
injustice in the world. Without
anger at injustice some of the greatest social and political change movements
throughout the centuries might never have taken place.
I will continue my survey of criteria proposed to be
potential indicators of Complex PTSD when I return to write my blog
tomorrow. Tomorrow I plan to focus on
the issue of consciousness.
......
I am actually feeling a bit under the weather today. I wrote the content which appears above over the weekend. Assuming I feel better I plan to post each day this week. I had a vivid dream last night which I documented elsewhere. The dream served as a strong reminder to me of the value of keeping a dream journal.
Have a great Monday everyone!
Post Script
Fifty Day Challenge, Day #18
Healthy activities for my Monday:
- Moving more slowly in acknowledgement of the fact I feel a bit under the weather
- Preparing a plan to ensure I have sufficient warm clothing for the upcoming winter
- Making contact with friends based here in the Twin Cities and elsewhere as a way of maintaining my connection to the world
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!