Tuesday, May 5, 2015
I met with my therapist again this evening. We actually scheduled out appointments
into June. I am closing in on my
two year anniversary of working with him.
It seems a bit surreal that it has been that long actually.
The main challenge left for me to address regarding my
mental health is the persistent sadness I feel. Speaking with complete honesty and transparency I
acknowledge that I feel some measure of sadness on most days. This really is not at all surprising to
me considering the amount of trauma I endured as a kid. The work of attending to the especially
traumatic incidents of my life history is now thankfully a thing of the
past. All that remains now is my
sadness.
I feel sad because I didn’t clearly see who and what I was
for such a long time. I didn’t see
the beauty in my eyes and in my face.
I didn’t receive a lot of encouragement and compliments regarding my
physical development as I was becoming a man. I know I am most certainly not alone in this type of
experience. Many people do not get
the recognition and encouragement they need from their parents to enter the
adult world as well adjusted, productive, healthy, confident people.
I find myself digging deeper and deeper into myself as time
goes on. My sadness is no longer a
companion whose presence I subtly or not so subtly try to ignore. But I also am doing fairly well at not
wallowing in it and allowing my past feelings of victimization to reclaim
me. I am much more than my past or
present. My life can be
wondrous. I have the maturity and
focus now to make it so. I have
the capacity to heal and learn from my mistakes.
No comments:
Post a Comment
I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!