Who Turned On January?

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I was a bit foolish and thought that I would have until at least Thanksgiving to truly prepare myself for the numbing winds of the coming winter season.  Then came the last week.  It’s been about nine full days now since the temperature dropped below freezing.  I’m feeling quite weary of wintry weather and it’s not even technically winter yet.  It’s not even astronomical winter yet (December 21 – March 20) let alone meteorological winter (December 1 – February 28).

But it’s not just the weather that has me struggling to maintain a positive attitude.  It’s another development which took place today.  This additional development is not life threatening but it’s certainly not life enhancing either.  Yet again I am being required to show up and dispute the decision of a local institution if I want to maintain my eligibility for a certain benefit I previously received from this institution.  The details of the matter aren’t that important.  It’s the way I have responded to this surprise development that is unfortunate.  I once again feel extraordinarily stressed.

I have been looking forward to this coming holiday season as the first one in which I will enjoy the festivities of the season without a burden of unhealed trauma being so severe that I could be determined to be clinically diagnosable for PTSD.  I was determined sub-clinical for PTSD as of late January of this year.  It thus hasn’t even been a full calendar year’s worth of time since this amazing milestone.  I want to keep making progress in my healing journey.  And yet the last few months have been very disconcerting in some respects.

Moments like these require me to yet again practice the important art of focusing on the blessings in my life.  And I still have plenty to be thankful for.  For instance I am quite grateful that I now have a position which could very well open a lot of doors for me in the future.