Saturday, July 30, 2016
Yesterday a seed I (unknowingly) planted in November, 2003
came full circle. Yesterday, once again, I expressed my love and appreciation
of Hawaii. I interviewed for two different jobs in Hawaii. And now, today, I
must let go of the process and await a reply. That reply will likely come near
the end of next week.
It has felt very strange to be me lately. I have done such
an extraordinary amount of work on myself not just in this month of July, 2016
but in the last three years. I feel this immense emptiness inside me. But it’s
not really an emptiness that I feel some sort of pain about. It’s an emptiness
I have created by removing all sorts of psychic crud I was carrying around for
far too much of my life. I have made space for something beautiful and new to
enter my life. Now, like the farmer who plants seeds each year, I must wait for
the outcome of recent efforts I have made. Now I must practice that not
inconsequential art of trusting.
Ah, yes, trusting…that amazingly vital aspect of a human
life that does not always come very easily. Being human seems like a recipe for
learning the pain of broken trust as well as the joy of restored trust. I am
still learning to trust more deeply. It can be a lifelong journey to learn how
to trust again.
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I invite you to accompany me as I document my own journey of healing. My blog is designed to offer inspiration and solace to others. If you find it of value I welcome you to share it with others. Aloha!